A New Beginning Again
by SonrieXfavor
Summary: Andy and Sharon are returning from their honeymoon as a married couple. What will life have in store for them as they start a new journey. This will be the last installment to the series, starting with "A New Beginning."
1. Let's Make Love Again

_Thank you for joining me in this new installment. I would have never continued for so long if it wasn't for all your support, please leave me your thoughts and suggestions. I hope you enjoy!_

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Andy sneaks out from under Sharon's hold trying to be careful not to wake her. He moves quietly out of the bedroom, walking down the cabins steps and entering the kitchen starting a pot of coffee. He makes quick of breakfast knowing Sharon will wake up as soon as the bed starts getting cold. He chuckles at the thought of them not being able to be in bed for more than ten minutes before feeling lonely. He serves a plate, placing it on a tray with two cups of coffee then hurriedly climbs back up the stairs. When he walks through the door he smiles when he sees her still on her side but eyes open smiling at him.

"You know I hate it so much when you leave." She grumbles scrunching her nose.

"I tried to be quick today." He says apologetically, climbing into the bed and resting the tray on her lap as she sits up. He kisses her lips softly she hums pulling him by the back of his neck. "Forgive me?" She had told him many times not to leave her alone in bed but he also knew how much she loved waking up to breakfast. She whimpers as his hands caress her.

"Can we skip breakfast?" He pulls back shaking his head, she pouts.

"We eat, then." She watches him climb out of bed and come back with a box. "We open this." Sharon giggles coughing out the coffee, having forgotten all about their children's gift. "Because if we tell our children we spent four days away, up in a mountain with nothing to do but be with each other." Sharon grins at him as he climbs back in bed sitting beside her.

"They'll imagine everything we were really doing." Andy nods kissing her neck, hand running against her abdomen and pulling up her nightgown. She swats his hand playfully, he chuckles dropping his head into her neck, regretting at saying no a moment ago. "Eat first remember." She holds up the fork to his lips and he grumbles taking it. She feeds herself as Andy nibbles and sucks into her neck, fingertips pulling on the strap of her gown. She tries to ignore his persistence, loving to play this way with him only turning to give him more food.

"Tell me," she hums his nose on her temple. "Does the spoiling me with different lingerie everyday end when we leave here?" She grins, he smiles when she turns to him holding up the fork. He bites the food and she leans forward pressing her lips onto his.

"How about I leave that as a surprise?" He frowns watching her as she continues enjoying the food, his eyes solely on her, he brushes her hair away to see her profile better tucking the lose strands behind her ear. The way she is completely breathtaking and brightens the room will always amaze him. Amaze him, that he is the one that has her by his side; that she calls him her husband.

She looks at him and smiles when she catches the look of admiration.

"You are absolutely stunning." He whispers; a hum escapes her as she leans into him, resting her forehead against his.

"Thank you. And for breakfast too."

"Alright Beautiful," he straightens up pulling the lid off the box. She tries to peak in but Andy hides its contents. "Maybe they packed up another outfit for you." Sharon giggles at his cute frown, putting the tray down on the side of the bed. Then pulling on his chin to look at him as she gets on her knees.

"Put the box away Andy." He smiles laying back stretching out his hand putting it on the floor. He chuckles when she lays on top of him. "We have the car drive." She says separating his legs with one of hers.

"I am all for public display but on the highway?" Andy says grinning, Sharon giggles.

"I meant to open the gift." Andy smiles as she kisses his nose. "But I wouldn't throw out the idea of having fun in the car." He groans as she kisses his neck, his hands running under her gown up her back. He moves his legs to push her higher up his body she lets out a small yelp.

"You don't know this but that is another one of my fantasies." Her eyes widen with a smirk.

"Really?" Sharon asks intrigued. "Sex in a car while driving on the highway?" She quirks an eyebrow, Andy shakes his head grinning.

"Not necessarily that detailed." She giggles kissing him sweetly. "But since we have done it with a stalled car, it should be in motion."

"Does this rank higher than sex in my office?" Sharon asks intrigued, he grumbles in pleasure.

"Absolutely not." He whispers on her lips. "My absolute favorite no matter how many fantasies we make a reality is sex in the shower." He growls considering the options and everything they've enjoyed, she watches him amused. "No actually I can't choose." He smiles as he looks at her shake her head at him.

"Andy, you are absolutely insane." He chuckles.

"And yet you still love me." He puts his hands on her bottom as Sharon rest her chin on her folded hands on his chest, her leg going up and down his.

"Then I guess I'm equally insane." She counters, he grins. "I think sex on the hammock yesterday was pushing it." Andy laughs wholeheartedly wrapping his arms around her and moaning onto her lips.

"Oh but Gorgeous we had our fun." He defends the memory, she nods not disagreeing. Andy always had a way to make every time enjoyable. And the hammock was no exception.

"Or next to the river." Andy lifts his arms showing her his bruise and cut on his bicep that he had gotten on such adventure. She pushes up kissing the darkened skin. "Again, I'm so sorry." She giggles, he only smiles rubbing her back again. "You think we can stay here?" She asks hopeful, he looks at the room that had been their seclusion for them, the cabin that had been a dream come true.

"Well I could talk to the owner." He responds jokingly, she smiles sighing sad that they were leaving. "Can I?" He asks grinning. She tilts her head confused and lets out a squeak when he flips her over hands running from her bottom to behind her thighs as she bends her knees wrapping her legs behind him. "I'm going to miss this." He says softly kissing her neck. "Having you to myself," her body trembles as his hands run up her sides, up her arms pushing them over her head. His tongue making a path down her neck. "Can we stay here?" Andy repeats her question, she sighs hearing the playfulness but also sincerity in his words. They both love their friends and family, but it had been magical to connect this way. Not only physically but emotionally as well, it is as if they reached a new level in their intimacy that they didn't know they were missing, it only heightened their need and want to be together.

"Andy," he knows she's asking him to stop. He looks at her worriedly. She cradles his face in her hands, "no, no I'd like you to continue but I just," he kisses her neck. "When we get out of here I want you to need me as much as I need you." He looks at her confused. "Like you did when we were alone. Here." He kisses her palm as he turns her head.

"Sharon, I always need you."

His sweetness makes her melt further into the mattress he pushes up on his elbows looking at her better, seeing tears in her eyes.

"I know you do, but that's exactly what I mean. I want you to tell me what is you want and need from me. You've been taking care of me for so long, I want it to go both ways from now on." He kisses her nose.

"You do, Beautiful."

"Not as much as I should have. So if you need more time with me, to go to AA meetings or on dates, you want the house to ourselves or want to hang out with the guys and be by yourself please tell me. I'd like my turn to take care of you." He stops her by kissing her.

"Letting me take care of you is what I need, taking care of our family, working beside you that makes me happy." She smiles at him but he can see she really means it, she needs this. "I promise." He says sweetly, his fingertips running against her thigh. "I will be more open with what I need," she smiles. "Right now I would like to make love to you." She licks her bottom lip.

"If all your request are this perfect." She practically purrs scratching his chest, "it's going to be very easy being your wife." He grins.

"So you expected it to be difficult." She giggles at his forced sigh of disappointment, shaking her head and scratching up his back.

"No, you make it very easy to love you." He smiles as her back arches as he sucks on her soft skin, hands running up her body, under the pale pink gown.

He hums lost in her body immediately; enjoying her trembles, her scent, her noises and her touch.

"Mmm, and you are delicious." He practically whimpers, Sharon giggles followed by a whimper of his name.

Andy takes Sharon's hand as he turns over onto his back and sees her closing her eyes, her chest rising with every breath, sweat trickling down her perfect skin. He kisses her fingers, she turns to him and smiles. Seeing him breath heavily just like her. Their bodies still pulsing from being joined together moments ago.

"My love," she whispers as he turns on his side hand caressing her body. "I'm going to need a vacation after our honeymoon." He laughs, pushing wet strands away from her forehead. "I'm finally tired." He reaches for a blanket and covers both of them. She turns on her side and kisses his chin, nuzzling into his neck.

"Insatiable no more." He whispers, she grumbles making him smile. "A nap before driving home sounds perfect." She presses delicate kisses, arm wrapping around him. "Beautiful?" She only hums. "I can't sleep like this, I need the whole you and your leg between mine, resting on top of me." She smiles pulling her hand away. He turns on his back pulling her with him, her leg instantly wrapping with his.

"Good?" She asks practically chuckling. He sighs wholeheartedly hands running up her back.

"No laughing." He answers peppering her hair with kisses. "You trained me this way." She pushes up despite feeling tired and leans in for a kiss but pulls back when he tries to meet her, frowning he tries kissing her again but she only pulls back from him again.

"Trained?" She smirks.

"You spoil me?" He says quirking an eyebrow hoping she'll like it better.

"Much better." She whispers kissing him and humming at the contact as she returns to her resting position. It doesn't take them long to fall asleep once Sharon is finally wrapped into Andy's arms enjoying the last moments of their honeymoon.

Andy opens the car door for Sharon, she gives him her hand and they both sigh looking at their house. He looks at her and smiles knowing that crossing the door would end their escape. Sharon scrunches her nose wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Disappointed?" She asks, he shakes his head looking at the house smiling.

"Happy." He responds smiling at her genuinely. He follows her lead up the steps, she unlocks the door. "Wait." She turns to him and he lifts her into her arms, she smiles. "We need to do it properly. As a married couple." She lets herself sink into his arms kissing his cheek. Andy walks her to the kitchen and sits her on the counter when they find a note. As Andy serves them water Sharon reads. "Welcome Back, I am staying at Nicole and Jeff's house. Rusty." Sharon meets Andy's eyes.

"Does he mean forever?" Sharon chuckles as he takes the note and reads the note over. She watches him frown flipping the note for anything else. She smiles sweetly at him.

"You want to call him?" Sharon asks drinking some water. He stands between her legs and kisses her very tender and softly. Her hands link behind his neck.

"We are alone." Sharon nods, grinning returning his lips to hers. She could spend her days kissing Andy, but she feels him frown and pull back a fragment. "Maybe we should call him." He whispers worried. Sharon lets go of him as he escapes her arms, watching him leave the kitchen. She chuckles at his concern and worry for Rusty, she loved seeing this other side of him. The father who cared and loved his children through everything.

Sharon shakes her head getting off the counter smiling as she rinses both cups and meets Andy at the door with their luggage and phones. They walk to the bedroom seeing the cleanliness, she smiles knowing Rusty had come around just to make sure everything was in order.

"I think he wanted to continue giving us time alone." Sharon says softly entering their bedroom. Andy watches her open the patio doors and turn to him shrugging a little. "Go ahead call him." Sharon motions to his cellphone, smiling.

"This is a test isn't it?" He says grinning walking closer to her, Sharon tilts her head questioning him. "What are you thinking?"

She sighs; very much wanting to see Rusty but also wanting to enjoy a few more minutes with Andy alone.

"If we let people know we are back our phones will not stop ringing," she smiles at him as he puts his hands on her waist.

"What do you have in mind?" He whispers kissing her neck.

"Bathtub?" She offers, he grumbles lifting her again with a small squeak and then giggles to the bathroom.

Sharon sits behind Andy in the tub her hands rubbing his chest, his obsessively on her legs, she nibbles on his ear, waiting for the noise of pleasure she enjoys from him so much before she lets go. He frowns finding a cut on her leg, she feels his thumb run over that same place over and over.

"From our hike." She tells him, "a branch I think." She kisses his shoulder, but he only stay silent. "What is it, My Love?" Her hands wrap tightly around him.

"Are you disappointed?" She frowns at the seriousness in his words, chin resting on his shoulder.

"About getting a cut?" He shakes his head.

"When we hiked that trail, it was so much easier for you." He tilts his head to look at her and sees a confusion and worry in her eyes. He rubs his hands over her arms on his chest linking a hand with hers. "I just worry that I won't be able to keep up with you at all one day." She hums in his ear, kissing his neck over and over and lingering the last time knowing he is talking about much more than hiking.

"I love you Andy, you know what I remember from the hike, when we were finally at the top and you surprised me by pulling out the blanket and food from your bag so we could have a picnic." She presses her lips on the warmth of his skin. "You are the perfect man for me. We are equals, there is no making a list of who does what better. Alright?" He stays quiet, she wraps her legs around him and he smiles. "Andy I am not disappointed. Proud, yes." He looks up and meets her eyes. "I am very proud to be your wife." He closes his eyes when she kisses his temple. "To be Mrs. Flynn." He runs his fingertips over her legs hearing her genuine joy. Sharon smiles, closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth of Andy's body with hers. It was a perfect fit, the way their hands fit together, their lips and bodies. A chill runs through her at the thought and he smiles at feeling the small shiver.

"Want to cuddle in bed?" He asks, she smiles knowing he felt her tremble.

"How about we go find our son?" She loves seeing the happiness in his expression as he turns to her and kisses her, helping her out of the tub. Andy wraps her in a towel and wraps his arms around her, arms nestled between them his rubbing her back up and down.

"I am very proud to be your husband too, Beautiful." She grins. "I love you." He whispers making the tremble return as he kisses her neck and feels her melt into his arms.


	2. Remind Me

_Thank you for the reviews!- Enjoy!_

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"Andy!" Sharon giggles.

He untucks her blouse from her pants, running his hands up her sides under her shirt. She smiles broadly when he pulls away from the kissing and looks into her eyes. She blushes, the way he still looks at her with so much passion and desire.

"Do I have to stop?" His small pout makes her chuckle, his fingers un-clasping her bra.

"Seems like you'll continue with or without my permission." He leans in and sucks her bottom lip, groaning. Then pulls his hands out and grumbles, putting his hands in his pockets. "You really do look handsome." His eyes light up when he sees the playful glint in her eyes.

"Those are my favorite pants." He keeps his hand away even if they're burning to touch her, she is completely intoxicating. "God you're beautiful." He looks at her up and down. She hums pushing him towards the bed. His hands run up her blouse eagerly again. He lays back on the bed as she climbs over him, her hands unbuckling his belt. "Wait, the door is open." Andy groans as she climbs off of him, but he holds her sitting up.

Her knees at both sides of him, whimpering when he cups her bottom. She breathes heavily as he sucks on the skin of her neck.

"We have to get that door." He whispers, she nods pushing up but he only stands up with her, hands and lips still attached to her.

"Mom, you have visitors!" They don't separate only trying to gather there breathing, hands being placed in more appropriate places. Rusty comes in and gives her a comical expression. Not because he had just caught them making out but because he knew she wasn't going to like the surprise.

"Rusty can you entertain them for several minutes." Andy says trying to kiss Sharon again she giggles and returns the kiss, Rusty rolls his eyes when he lifts her off the ground, her legs wrapping around him.

"Sure." Rusty says nonchalantly. "Do your parents like leftover pizza?" Sharon pulls away from the kissing and looks at him confused, Andy holds onto her waist looking at him.

"No my parents will never eat anything leftover much less pizza." She says out of breath. Rusty nods, turning around.

"I'll offer them caviar." He replies sarcastically.

"Rusty?" Andy calls him back putting Sharon down.

"Yes they are here." He says a little desperately. Sharon looks at Andy pushing away from him. Rusty can't help but giggle at her looking like she just got caught in the middle of something terrible.

"My parents? You sure?" She fidgets with her shirt tucking it in just to remember her unclasped bra.

"Well the way your Mom glared at me gave it away, but then she said, "hey little boy is our daughter home, you know Richard this must be the boy she took in." Andy laughs at the imitation it is so close to Sharon, she darts him a look. Then his voice gets deeper. "Yes Ellie we've seen pictures of him, his name is Rusty." Andy giggles but Sharon zooms to her closet.

"Oh god." Andy and Rusty look at each other both amused and unsure as what to do.

"Lovely." Andy and Rusty look at each other than towards the door.

"Andy go." Sharon says through the closet door.

"What like hide under the bed?" He giggles also fidgeting nervously. He knew meeting Sharon's parents was inevitable but he never expected it to be this way, interrupted while trying to have sex with their daughter before work. "Sharon?" Andy calls, "you want me to hide?" He asks again after her silence. Rusty can't help but chuckle at both their behaviors.

"No need to do that." Andy suddenly stands straight, Rusty goes silent and Sharon's grunting in the closet ends. The woman looks eerily to close to Sharon's features; petite, the stare equally intimidating but doesn't hold the green, her posture is uncanny, the walk is identical. Andy had ruled that no one would come physically closer than Kate but he was wrong. "Where is she?" Both Andy and Rusty point towards the closet she walks in making a disapproving humph noise looking out the patio. "Sharon you know hiding in your closet was childish when you were a teenager, now it's just horrendous." Andy and Rusty grin at the image of a younger Sharon being scolded. Sharon comes out looking like a teenager.

Andy looks at her impressed, her makeup is back to normal, her clothes has no crease on it and her hair is in its proper place.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Sharon stands as her mom examines her thoroughly even making her spin around. And then frowning disapprovingly.

"Now gentleman, please excuse yourself I have to talk to my daughter." She doesn't even look at them waiving a hand in the air in dismissal.

"Mom. Wait." Sharon walks away from her moving over to both men who stand motionless, "this is Rusty. And Andy." She looks at them begging not to leave and turning to her mother.

"Yes I hope you don't have random men in here. Or I suppose they are." She says not looking at them as she straightens the bed out, clearing the creases Andy and Sharon had just made.

"Mom?" Sharon walks over and does it herself. Rusty watches with an impossible large smile; it is almost as if they were in a time capsule and seeing Sharon as a teenager.

"Sharon we will be outside." Andy points towards the door. Smiling, but she can see his nervousness. When Rusty and Andy start leaving at Sharon's mother's dismissal, they turn to Sharon's halting.

"No, no." She almost skips over to him stopping them. Andy looks at her amused but confused. She looks at him apologetically not wanting to offend him.

"My daughter is A Daddy's girl." Andy and Rusty look at the older woman. "She will want to prepare him before she mentions that she's living with a boy that's not her husband." Andy does a single nod feeling slightly irritated by Sharon.

"Mom can you just give us a minute?" Rusty can hear the dismissive tone, her mom had just used. It was frightening how similar they are. The older woman doesn't move. "Please, I'd like a minute with my husband." She holds her hands up at her sides walking away, huffing.

"Come, show us to our room." Sharon nods at Rusty mouthing, 'please.'

Rusty closes the door behind them and Sharon turns around looking at Andy, he takes a step back.

"Your Dad doesn't know about me?" He walks away from her towards the chair, grabbing his jacket.

"Of course he does." Sharon walks over to him and stands in front of him taking the jacket away. When he looks angry and unconvinced she holds him tighter. "He does know, of course he does. My Mom just likes to tease. It is her supposed humor." She wraps her hands around his back when he won't look at her. "I just wanted to stop her controlling and the questions."

"Aren't they inevitable?" He says frustrated. She sighs, tiptoeing and kissing him but he pulls back, taking his jacket from her arms.

"No I can't." She frowns. "Not while your parents are here." He pulls away and walks to the door.

"Andy? Are you serious?" He nods looking at her seriously. "You won't kiss your wife." When he looks at her straightening himself out, she can see his seriousness, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. "Well they better be gone soon." She's happy it makes him break into a small smile.

"I can go down through the lake if you'd like?" Andy tries to read her.

"No of course not." She grabs his hand and opens the door walking down the hall. Andy is surprised to find a grinning man, shorter, stockier, green eyes staring right at them.

"Oh is that my Lovely?" He slips on his glasses and holds out his arms for her. Andy can instantly see the different relationship she has with each parent.

"Dad?" Sharon hugs him tightly. "No don't let go yet." He chuckles holding her tighter.

"Why are you crying?" It surprises him that the man knows even without looking at her.

"I missed you," she whispers pulling back but not completely as he wipes her tears smiling lovingly at her, "it has been more than three years." Sharon finishes.

"Hmm, that's why we are here." He pulls on her chin tilting her head down and kissing her forehead. Sharon closes her eyes. They all turn at the undertone complaints of her mother, followed by Rusty's silence.

"Dad this is Rusty." Sharon steps away grabbing his hand pulling him closer to her Dad. Rusty shakes his hand even though they had met already.

"The young man who stole my daughters heart. It's nice to meet you in person." Rusty smiles stepping back shyly, Sharon looks at her Mom as she is examining shelves for dust, but turns to Andy when she glances a disapproval look.

"And this is Andy."

"The other young man who stole my daughter's heart." Andy shakes his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you both."

"You to Sr." Andy starts.

"Oh no, please call me Richard." Andy smiles, "your Mother refused to call." Sharon holds Andy's hand when he brushes her back.

"Dad, I'm so happy you're here. But we have to go to work."

Andy rubs her arm.

"Stay, if we get a call we will call you." He whispers softly, Sharon holds his hand not wanting him to leave.

"Dear, you can't just leave us, we have a lot of catching up to do." Sharon only looks at her mother. "Russell do you have to work too?" Andy grips Sharon's hand, not going to accept her to hurt Rusty even if it is Sharon's mother.

"Ellie, you know the boys name is Rusty and if he works or not it is none of our business." Andy tries hiding the smile hearing the man stand up for Rusty.

"Rusty you can go with Andy." He nods rushing to his bedroom, she waits till he's in the bedroom. "Mom, if you offend, hurt, insult or are condescending to our son. I promise I'll never forgive you. I can tolerate it on myself, maybe even Andy but not Rusty do you understand." Andy focuses on the smile her father wears, he can tell this isn't an obvious attitude Sharon takes with her mother.

"I was just asking." She says rolling her eyes, frowning at the pictures on the mantel piece. Sharon takes a long breath when she focuses on Andy's family.

"You weren't just asking." Sharon says softly. Her father walks over to the picture taking it in hand.

"Are these the grandchildren you talk so much about?" Andy's eyes light up at the thought of Sharon talking about the boys with her Dad.

"Yes, Jake is the smaller boy, the one with the big smile. And Ian is the one with the beautiful brown eyes." Her Dad smiles, setting the picture back looking over the others. "My stepchildren." Sharon says when he sees the other pictures.

"Nick and Nicole." He responds. "I'm sorry but I remember Ana but the man."

"Jeff," Andy responds. He nods a smile on his face one similar to Sharon's.

"You got the big family you always wanted Lovely." Sharon hums holding Andy's hand tighter. Andy kisses her temple, getting a disapproving look from her mother. "Go on to work, we can take care of ourselves. We are checking into a room down the road." Sharon doesn't have to look at Andy, he has already stepped forward handing him his key.

"You are welcomed to stay." The older man gives him a single nod taking the key. "Sharon doesn't have to go but I do. It was a pleasure meeting you; both of you." The older man shakes his hand. Sharon walks out of the living room with Andy in hand followed by Rusty.

She stops them at the door.

"Honey, please for the time my parents are here ignore any comments my mother says." Rusty nods. She shakes her head releasing Andy and cupping Rusty's cheeks smiling at him. "Rusty, she does the same to Ricky and Kate." He sighs.

"Yeah?" He says tearfully, Sharon nods.

"Call them, I promise." She can see this helps him a little. "I give you permission to defend yourself in any way, just no hitting my mother." Both men chuckle, she kisses his forehead and hugs him, "I love you," she lets him walk out of the house not completely accepting that he is alright.

"I'll talk to him." Andy adds quickly, Sharon kisses Andy abruptly he pulls back looking toward the living room.

"You better kiss me Andy or I'll go insane." He smiles kissing her nose, running his finger down its tension. "This is so not fair." Andy only opens the door again. "Let me get them settled and I'll catch up." He nods, "you look really handsome." He smiles at her, knowing she's fishing for the proper kiss.

"Thanks Beautiful, you look gorgeous." He winks at her as he leaves. She sighs heavily walking to the living room and seeing her mother moving furniture.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"You should hire a cleaning lady." Sharon chuckles walking over to her Dad and sitting beside him. He pulls her into his arms, she rest her head on his chest as they watch the woman move things around. "So this boy." She says almost grinding her teeth.

"Rusty, Mom. His name is Rusty."

"The other."

"Andy, my husband?" Sharon raises her voice a notch.

"To the wedding your parents weren't invited to." The woman adds quickly.

"Ellie." Sharon puts a hand on her Dad's chest looking at him, stopping him from defending her.

"I am sorry, but I know you don't believe in divorce." She then looks at her Mom. "And I didn't need you coming and destroying the happiness. We have been through so much we needed one perfect day." Her Dad holds her hand and she looks at him.

Her father always understood her better, they had their differences but her father still stayed beside her, walked her through the most difficult of moments. Whereas her mother would belittle her and shun her for weeks until Sharon caved first. Yet Sharon loved them both and knew her Mother had made her the incredibly strong woman she is.

"I'll prepare lunch." Her Mom says abruptly. Sharon drops her head on her Dad's shoulder, rubs her back soothingly.

"I'm just glad you got rid of Jack; that son of a bitch," Sharon laughs wholeheartedly going red. She looks up at him still chuckling. "Lovely I'm happy if you are. You deserve someone to make you happy." She kisses his cheek. "Not only that, but you deserve someone that you can make happy too." She tilts her head. "Your mother loves me, but what makes it so much easier to accept her love is how much she allows me to love her." Sharon hums.

"We love each other very much." Sharon assures him.

"Good. And I know because I got a teary call on my baby's wedding day. Not sad because you had kept it from us but because and I'm using your words. I wish you could see how happy he makes me and my children." Sharon wipes her eyes.

"Sorry I didn't invite you. I was worried Mom would hurt Andy and that you would be disappointed." He shakes his head, pulling her to him again. She rest her head on his chest.

"I'll forgive you if I can meet those great grandchildren and new grandchildren." Sharon smiles.

"I'll call Nicole, but Nick lives out of state."

"One at a time is fine." He whispers soothingly, rubbing her back.

"I love you Dad." He kisses her head.

"Never more than me." Sharon smiles having heard this as she grew up. They hear grunts and disapproving noises from the kitchen, Sharon closes her eyes and pushes up but her father doesn't let her move. "Maybe if we stay still and quiet, we will disappear." Sharon giggles.

"I missed you." She whispers.

She pushes up standing up and looking at her Dad carefully, he had aged a lot the last three years. She smiles sadly helping her father up.

"I think we should get going, I'm a little tired from the flight."

"No, you're staying." She links her arm in his. "We have room and it's quiet all day so you can rest. There is a lake out back that you can walk around. Rusty has a bookshelf full of books you'd like. The kitchen is stocked, plus your daughter would love to come home and have her father waiting for her." He smiles when they arrive at the guest bedroom. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Extraordinary." Sharon smiles, helping him sit on the bed. "Comfy too." She chuckles. "Lovely, I'd like to get to know Rusty especially. We've exchanged a few words on the phone but if he's my grandson."

"He's not like Ricky or Kate Dad, he's reserved." Sharon takes his coat hanging it in the closet.

"So tell me about him." Sharon looks at her Dad removing his shoes.

"He likes to play chess, he recently graduated but refused to walk or have a party. He's very conscious of others feelings something he worked very hard on, but doesn't talk of his own." Sharon takes his shoes and puts them at the end of the bed.

"I'll take him out, or he can take me out. Without your grandma of course." Sharon smiles nodding.

"I will talk to him."

"He wants to join the Police Academy right?" Sharon nods. "Chess, movies, books and hamburgers." Sharon looks at him sweetly, remembering why she loves her father so much. He cares for others, wants to make people feel welcomed and loved. "No girlfriend?" He looks at Sharon and sees her silence, "boyfriend?" He questions easily.

"He doesn't like to talk about it."

"Good to know." Sharon watches him contemplate things. "How about traveling?"

"He hasn't but he wants to. I offered but he wants to save his own money to do it."

"Responsible and honest." He sits against the headboard wanting to hear more.

"He knows a little golf," her Father's eyes light up. "Learned at school, he likes to cook and he is fantastic at it. He's a great writer but he doesn't share but you'll catch in writing in a book often. He's planning on an Associates but I know he'll do more, not because I expect it but because he loves learning. He spends a lot of time at work with us, first because he was a witness and now because I don't like him being alone. Andy and I both have adopted him."

"Why?" Sharon frowns at his question.

"No, no." He holds out his hand, she walks over to him, "not why the adoption but why can't he be alone?"

"Oh." She tucks her hair behind her ear. "He was shot, trying to save my life." His rubs her hand with his thumb. She always knew he worried but he would never question her life choices only support her. "It's a very long story but I panic when he's alone."

"I suppose he doesn't like to talk about it." Sharon smiles, pulling out extra pillows from the closet. "So he's brave and loves his mother." Sharon helps him rest back into the extra pillows.

"He loves this family, it has taken him a very long time to feel accepted. I can't have Mom ruining that in a day." He reaches for her hand again and kisses it.

"I'll talk to her, but you keep standing up to her. I always wanted to see the day." Sharon smiles. "She did the same thing for you with your grandmother, she'll respect it." Sharon pulls the blanket up over him.

"Rest, I'll be back in the afternoon." She kisses his cheek. "Call me if you need anything." He watches her leave and smiles closing his eyes. Sharon enters the kitchen to find pots and pans scattered. "Mom, this room is basically Rusty's so please don't change anything."

"A boy in charge of the kitchen, explains a lot."

"I cook Mom, just not as regularly as Rusty and Andy do." Her mom scoffs. "Will you stop and look at me." She doesn't and it hurts her deeply but she knows she can't do a thing, "alright Dad is resting I'm taking Rusty's car so you can use mine if you need it. Dad wants to meet Nicole and Jeff so I'll be inviting them over along with my grandchildren. I hope you'll be able to at least look at them." Sharon waits but when there is no response she walks to her bedroom and grabs her things coming back to the kitchen were her Mom is still cleaning. "Here are the keys, call me if you need anything." Still no response, she puts the key on the counter. "Love you Mom." Only the clatter of pots and pans send her off.

Sharon arrives to a silent murder room all eyes on her but she doesn't look at anyone, Andy turns in his chair watching her but she doesn't take a glance at him. She closes the door to her office. The team looks up at Andy worriedly.

"Her parents surprised us by coming in this morning."

They all let out a long, 'oh,' and a chuckle from Provenza. They turn to Rusty and he stops half stride confused as to why all the attention.

"She called me into her office." They all watch him enter the room and close the door the way she leans onto her desk as he sits down in front of her.

"How are the parents in law?" Provenza asks, Andy stands up walking to the printer dropping change in the jar.

"Booth eerily similar to Sharon." They all smile.

"Lieutenant Provenza," they all look up and he stands up quickly walking over to Sharon. "We have an officer and family missing. He takes the paper out of her hand as she stays on her phone.

"Detective Lorrie Jones." Provenza calls out and Tao immediately types onto his computer. "Last seen by her partner Detective Tom Richter, after their shift yesterday at eight fifteen, her two children Jenna and Jessica Jones and husband Ronald Jones are also missing. Sykes, Julio and Buzz to the house." Tao hands them the address. "Flynn warrants." He stands up immediately. Provenza turns to Sharon and sees Rusty standing behind her slightly uncomfortable, he waves him out.

"Her Dad wants to spend time with me." Rusty whispers, Provenza smiles. "But her Mom doesn't like me." Sharon hangs up her phone and rubs Rusty's back.

"I have to go upstairs to meet Chief Taylor and Chief Pope," Provenza nods. "Keep me updated." Sharon hands Rusty his car keys. "You don't have to go honey, it's your choice."

"Sharon your Mom doesn't like me."

"I don't think she likes me sometimes." He rolls his eyes. "Plus my Mom will not be joining you two." He exhales a long breath. "He won't be offended or pressure you. I got the pushy trait from my mother." She kisses his temple leaving the room.

"That was her way of pushing wasn't it?" Rusty asks.

"Yes it was." Tao calls from the distance. Rusty plays with the keys in hand, Provenza pats his shoulder walking over to Tao.

As Sharon rides the elevator she drops her head back taking a long breath. It had only been a few hours since she had woken up and she was already hoping it would end.


	3. Safe

_Please forgive me in advance..._

* * *

Sharon rarely uses sirens; but her very short call with Tao worried her. She had been in and out of meetings all day with Pope and Taylor, when they had a lead to where Detective Lorrie and her family were possibly being held hostage, she had sent the team out ahead of her. There had been an overlook over one of Detective Lorrie's previous arrests putting them behind on their search.

Andy had overlooked a case and about an thirty minutes later he had gone through the stack of folders once again. Angrily scolding himself for his carelessness. Now as she pulls up to the apartment duplex and jumping out of the car she is concerned because of the words Tao had ended the last conversation with.

_Sharon, I think you need to come and soon. He's not thinking clearly_. He hadn't used her rank, he was trying to tell her it was more serious than he was expressing. Running past the officers holding up her badge, she looks over the crowd of officers not seeing Andy anywhere. Sanchez runs up to her handing her a vest, she struggles with it as he walks quickly beside her.

"May I?" She looks at him and smiles softly thanking him as he straps the vest, not stopping for a second.

"Where are the others?" He can hear the strain in her voice. "Where are the others?" She repeats.

"Lieutenant Flynn, is on his way up leading the rescue, Sykes wouldn't let him go alone." He knows this is what she's asking; needing to know where Andy is. Sharon extends her hand and he immediately hands her the walkie talkie.

"This is Captain Raydor, all officers are to stand down. I repeat stand down." She looks at the door hoping to see them retreating, "All officers are to pull out immediately." She hands it over as they continue walking over to the small tent, meeting Buzz and Tao. "Do we know whose being held hostage in there? Is it the entire family?" Both men look up at her, but she focuses on the door once more only looking at them when Tao begins to talk.

"We have nothing." He says softly, "just a strangled cry on the phone coming from that apartment." She looks up seeing Andy and Sykes rushing towards her, Amy looks relieved but Andy's face holds an incredible amount of bitterness.

"We have to move, there are children in there!" Andy shouts, everyone shifts uncomfortably taking a step back. "Children and one of our own!" Sharon only stares at him, trying to remember that they are Captain and Lieutenant, not husband and wife at the moment.

"We can lose more people if we just barge in there Lieutenant none of your backup has any idea what you're doing, we need a plan. So settle down." She says calmly, looking at Tao again.

"Settle down?!" Andy growls. Sharon looks at him, his face red, fuming in anger. She hadn't seen him this angry in a very long time. It didn't make her upset, they knew they wouldn't always be on the same page. In fact they were often disagreeing on cases. But it worried her, knowing that anger is what has lead him to collapse in the past. He rubs his neck in frustration, "we need to move in now!"

"Lieutenant are you asking to take lead on this case?" Andy stares at her for the first time taking a breath when he can see the worry in her eyes. "I asked you a question Lieutenant." Her voice is thick and rough, the team only watches; silent. "Do you think I'm incapable of leading this?" Sharon says unfairly, she knows but she needs to get through to him. Andy huffs, unstrapping his vest and tossing it aside walking away from her and the others. Sharon rubs her forehead. "Julio and Amy please agree on a strategy you have two minutes."

"Yes Captain." Amy says quickly.

"Mike where is Lieutenant Provenza?" She knows Andy would have never progressed with his presence and Tao would have never challenged the orders while seeing him this affected.

"He was pulled over for speeding." Sharon chuckles dryly at the irony, then let's out a long breath, trying to remain professional but almost panicked knowing that two minutes could mean a loss of a life.

_Andy's right._

"Lieutenant, do you think we can get all of them out of there safely? Without a clue of where they're being held." Tao looks at her carefully.

"Amy and Julio are great at their job Captain." Sharon nods knowing that's the best answer he can give her she looks back and spots Andy in the distance. "He hadn't lost it that way in a long time." Sharon looks at Tao and quickly rests a hand on his arm; assuring him Andy would be alright when she hears his worry. The truth was she had no idea how they would get him to cool down.

He tilts his head over at Andy and she smiles walking over to him. Andy looks up at Sharon and shakes his head.

"Not now," he grinds his teeth, "Captain Raydor," he practically hisses and Sharon frowns.

He wasn't only opposed to her decision on calling off the rescue but he was bitterly upset at her as Sharon, but she didn't understand why. They had been able to keep the two separate till this moment and she couldn't see what had affected him personally.

"Andy?" He doesn't look at her. "Lieutenant?" She hates to pull rank when she knows how broken up he is. He looks up at her; eyes tearful.

He was latching out on her when he had made the mistakes. She didn't deserve any of this but he wasn't ready to talk about it. They both knew he needed his space but that option wasn't available in these circumstances.

"Captain?" They hesitantly look up and see an angry Provenza huffing over to them. "I have a speeding ticket, a speeding ticket! When I'm an officer with sirens. I'll show this idiot!" He shouts waiving the paper in the air. "What's up with you?" Provenza looks at Andy noticing how affected he is.

"Ma'am?" Sharon turns and sees Sykes and Julio moving over to them. "We are ready."

"Lieutenants are you coming?" She looks at Andy, he doesn't hold her gaze walking past all of them. Sharon puts a hand on Julio's arm and slows him down. "Detective did I use Captain Raydor?"

"Ma'am?" He asks confused.

"When I told the officers to stand down, did I say Captain Raydor?" She knows the answer before he responds noticing the realization in Julio's eyes.

"Yes, Captain you did." Sharon nods saying a soft thank you. She reaches the others and listens to the plan, praying for a second that everyone escapes safely. Sharon nods at Julio giving him the signal that he can take charge.

"We want to get Detective Lorrie and her family out safely. So we follow everything to the key. We keep our weapons down unless absolutely necessary." Everyone nods at Sykes.

Sharon stays back and watches the screens with Buzz, Tao beside her. Taking a long breath she looks up and sees Andy join the other officers, hating him going in there when they are not in a good place. She watches them enter the building and start climbing the steps. They hear a gun shot and Tao pushes Buzz down to the ground. Sharon raises her gun, following the others up the steps. No one had knocked on the door, no one had called out LAPD someone had been shot inside the apartment before the rescue mission had even begun. She hurries up the steps, hearing the faint noise of a door being knocked down. Then multiple gunshots.

Arriving at the door she hears Julio's shouting, the suspect under him. She lowers her gun spinning and seeing an officer panting on the floor, rushing up to him she pats his cheek. His eyes open.

"Good, good. Keep your eyes open for me." He jumps at the sound of more gunshots. Sharon looks at the officer and looks at his leg bleeding out. There are officers rushing in through the door, she stops one pulling him down by his hands. "Hold down on the wound, keep him responsive." The officer immediately replaces Sharon. "Keep your weapon in hand till you hear the clear."

"Yes Captain." Sharon stands up and raises her gun walking through the apartment, wishing to spot anyone on her team specifically her husband, praying that he's not injured once again. That her entire team will be safe, that no more officers be injured.

She spots a small trail of blood, a sign there is at least one other injured.

She looks up and sees Andy and releases a long breath, her heart drumming faster as he disappears from view again. Anger and relief runs through her body. Her breathing is accelerated as she continues a steady pace clearing the rooms she walks through.

"All clear." Andy calls appearing again as he exits a room, Sharon rushes to him, holstering her gun. He stops, holding her arm as she runs her hands against his chest. "I'm fine." He says softly, trying to kiss her temple but she pulls back, "You?" He ask looking her over.

"Never walk into fire while angry at me, again." She says angrily in a whisper. He tries to pull her close but she pushes away walking further into the rooms. She lets out a long breath when she sees the two trembling children being held by their father she scans the room. "Where is Detective Lorrie?" She asks softly.

Provenza points to the bathroom as he covers a second body Sharon can only imagine is another suspect, shielding him from the children. She rushes over to the bathroom finding Sykes practically hugging the woman as she holds her in her arms, blood spreading along the floor. Sharon drops beside her trying to find the source of the blood, understanding why Amy recruited to holding her the way she is. It was multiple wounds unable to help any other way.

"Captain, an ambulance." Amy pants, Sharon is about to call out when Andy rushes in followed by medics. He sees the blood and Amy, then sees Sharon squatting over blood. He lifts Sharon first assuring himself that she's not injured, then helps Amy up when the paramedics take over. Sharon grabs Amy's hands, when her leg gives out collapsing to the floor.

Sharon bends beside her, noticing the way her breathing is shallow and she's gone pale. "You were shot? A medic here, please." Sharon helps her sit up against the tub pulling up Amy's pant leg and moving beside her. "Amy, you did great." Sharon grabs her hand holding it tight, Sharon looks up and meets Andy's gaze. "Tell Lieutenant Provenza that he's in charge." Andy nods disappearing immediately.

"Captain, you don't need to stay." Amy tightens her hand when the foreign hands work on her wound.

"I don't have to but I want to." Sharon says softly, Amy hisses in pain. "Can we get these women to the hospital now? What are you waiting for?" Sharon uses the sternest voice she possibly can. Detective Lorrie is lifted on a stretcher. Sykes fights it but is finally lifted into a second stretcher, Sharon follows close by.

Outside by the ambulance the team surrounds Amy telling her she did a great job. Andy grabs Sharon's hand but she pulls away, climbing into the ambulance and riding away with Sykes. The team looks at Andy as he lets out a long breath.

"You can't leave." Provenza stops him as he starts to move to his car. "FID will have a field day if you leave."

Andy knows it's the truth, he had shot his weapon injuring the suspect. And if Sharon got wind of him leaving before he was supposed to, her frustration or anger would be even greater. He had been a complete idiot.

He knew it then and he knows it now.

Several hours later after being cleared to leave the crime scene, Tao and him drive together to the hospital, Provenza already ahead of them. They find Sharon sitting in the waiting room. Andy walks up to her as her head is dropped in her hands. He rubs her back soothingly. She doesn't need to look up, she knows it is him. She can't deal with all her emotions at the moment but she needs his comfort for just a second. He squats in front of her tilting her head up but she fights it. Only a small noise of protest escaping her.

"Sharon?"

She stands up and steps out from his space, she wipes her eyes and looks at Andy as he stands up not noticing Tao is standing behind her.

"Chief Pope is waiting for a briefing. Ugh I have to go can I take your car, Lieutenant Provenza is meeting me there he already left." Andy hands her his keys, she looks at Tao and smiles tearfully. "Let me know how Amy and Detective Lorrie's recovery continues, they are both in surgery. And the other officer?"

"Officer Monte." Tao informs her, she thanks them.

"His family is on his way."

Andy follows her, a hand landing on her back. She keeps walking with him at her side. No matter what she was feeling his presence always eases her pain.

"Sharon?"

"Andy I can't hear it right now." She says thickly trying to hold back her emotions. She moves closer to him letting him know she still wants his company, his arm wraps around her and she lets his warmth guide her. "You know why Chief Pope is here?"

Andy stays silent knowing she's about to share something with him that's weighing down on her heavily. Andy turns kissing her temple and caressing her waist when her pause is longer than it should be. She was hesitating in talking to him.

"I'm sorry for being the worst Lieutenant and husband. I'm here now." He whispers. "Please talk to me." She closes her eyes, continuing the walk but trusting Andy will guide her to the right place.

"If Detective Lorrie doesn't make it, I'll be suspended indefinitely." Andy frowns, "Chief Pope hired Detective Lorrie she's important or special to him for some reason. He was being asked for the ransom it's why he was here. Why I was called directly. No one can know."

"An affair?" Andy questions, Sharon only shakes her head even though she knows it's the truth.

Andy's skin crawls they had been put in this position because of one of Pope's famous affairs.

"Please call Rusty tell him to forgive me for leaving him with my parents for so long." Andy opens her car door, but she doesn't climb in right away, putting her hand on Andy's chest glad he is alive and standing in front of her. All of her body pulsing with so much she doesn't know how to express herself, she doesn't look up at him. He takes her hand in his, she shakes her head entering her car, wiping her tears as she closes the door.

There had been too much and now even more to discuss. She felt too many things to start opening up now in the parking lot of the hospital.

Andy steps back so she can pull out, he can feel her disappointment, not knowing where to begin to resolve the issue at hand. He had hurt her as her subordinate and as her husband. He knows she'll blame herself, when all the fault should be his. He had skipped over the file, he had missed something so obvious. He had failed the entire team but the thing that hurt him most was failing the one person that he couldn't live without. The one person that had always been on his side. He had failed the love of his life, his Captain because no matter how much they tried to separate it all. They can't it is all united.


	4. Falling Slowly

_I have been awful, I apologize. School and school and more school have taken over my life, but I promise I am not giving up on these two._

_Oh and I apologize in advance for this one too... don't hate me! _

* * *

Sharon arrives home and smiles when she hears laughter from the kitchen, it was eight in the morning, she had been in and out of meetings alongside Provenza. There was much more to closing the case and the thought of being under watchful eye from Taylor and Pope for the next few days pained her. Both Detectives were healing well and Amy was already asking to go back to work. The thought makes her smile.

Sharon couldn't help and carry a certain amount of guilt around. If she would have let Andy move in when he wanted to, things might have turned out better. Not so many injuries, no threats of being suspended, no FID reports. But right now she only had one thing in mind and it was talking to Andy. She hated having this distance between them.

She walks into the kitchen and sees Rusty and her Dad laughing with each other. She smiles broadly, excited to see them getting along so well. She walks over to Rusty and kisses the top of his head.

"I'm happy to see you home." Rusty watches as she walks around the table and kisses her Dad's cheek, he holds her hand. Rusty had been spending most nights at Nicole's house, which saddened both her and Andy at not having him around but also made her happy he had found a friend and sister in her.

There had been a distance between Rusty and Andy that she was hoping Rusty would catch onto. He had changed plans on Andy often to see Nicole putting him aside. Andy had said he was okay with it but she could see how much it really hurt him.

"This boy of yours is a riot." Sharon smiles down at her Dad, then looks at Rusty who is smiling down at his hands.

"He is wonderful." Sharon says softly, Rusty looks up at her. "You have classes today?" Rusty nods.

"In about two hours."

"Good." Sharon pulls the chair beside her Dad and sits down sighing as she removes her shoes.

"Do you have time to rest?" She looks at Rusty's worry.

"Hmm, no I have to go back. Just came for a change of clothes." She looks over at her Dad. "Would you and Mom like to come in and meet the team? It'll be a few hours than we can have lunch together." He kisses her forehead.

"I'd love to." She smiles, resting her head on his shoulder, looking at Rusty again.

He smiles enjoying seeing this new part of Sharon, as a child herself.

"Where's Andy and Mom?"

"Your Mom is getting ready to go out with Ricky." Sharon sits up straight and looks at her Dad.

"Ricky?" She looks at Rusty who shrugs. "He's in town?" Her Dad frowns. "Since when?"

"I ruined a surprise." Sharon smiles happily at her Dad.

"He's landing in twenty minutes, but Ellie demanded a one on one breakfast before anyone else." Sharon chuckles shaking her head.

"My Mother." Sharon says chuckling,

"And Andy just got home too." Sharon frowns looking at Rusty. All smiles fade immediately, Rusty sees he said the wrong thing. "He was with Amy." Rusty says softly.

"Is that what he said?" Rusty looks at Sharon's Dad and shakes his head.

"No, he didn't say anything, walked straight to his room." Rusty says slightly ashamed, of course something was wrong. Andy would have never ignored anyone, he would have begun cooking breakfast, had a feast laying by the time Sharon arrived. Sat around the table with him and Sharon's Dad.

Sharon stands up, kissing her Dad again. A sudden panic arises in her, she had been with Amy the last two hours she had told her Andy had left before midnight. It was past eight in the morning. Where had he been?

_Lou. _She looks at Rusty and her Dad, who are watching her.

"I have to get ready, twenty minutes Dad?" He nods.

She hadn't been nervous to talk to Andy, it was always easy to solve problems with him he made everything so much easier. But if he had needed eight hours with Lou, it meant he was having a harder time with all of this. He either felt guilty or was more hurt than she thought. She feels nauseous, at having thought it would be a conversation they needed to have when it was much more.

She opens the door to her bedroom and looks around seeing Andy outside on the patio. She notices the patio door is closed; _he wants privacy. _But she doesn't want to leave things hanging much longer. She taps on the glass, he looks up wiping his eyes when he sees her.

_He's crying. _She opens the door stepping out immediately.

"Give me a minute." He whispers, she can hear the excess amount of pain in his voice.

"Yeah." She begins to open the door to go back inside looking once more and meets his eyes. They are lost in deep sadness. She sighs closing the door again at seeing him so torn apart. She can see that the last thing he wants is for her to leave. She hurries over to the futon and he holds out his hand, she takes it immediately straddling his hips. He wraps his arms around her painfully holding her against him, his head dropping into her neck letting out a sob, she holds him tight at the terrifying sound. One so deep and in sorrow, she's never heard it escape him before.

"My Love, what is it?" Her voice is panicked. When she knows she's not going to receive an answer she holds him. His tears soaking her blouse. She soothes him by rubbing his back the only thing she feels she can do.

She knows Provenza is alright, she was just with him, Rusty, Nicole. But _Nick? Please let Nick be alright._

There was much more to this than the case. There is no connection. He is in pain for something much deeper. She rubs his back soothingly for over an hour.

It breaks her to see him so torn apart, she had never seen him this way. The tears are endless. She begins to worry about how all of this can affect him and his blood pressure but the last thing she wants to do is stop him from releasing his pain, it is deep and agonizing and she doesn't know what else to do but continue letting him grasp at her, hold her tight.

His words are rough and filled of anger.

"He's gone." Sharon frowns almost missing the words as they are muffled into her chest.

"Who is?" Asking the question makes her realize the answer and her eyes widen as she lets out a shaky breath pulling him back by holding his face. For the first time since they've been like this she looks at him. His eyes are blood shot red, tears covering his face. "Lou?" She lets out hesitantly, he nods weakly letting out another sob. Sharon kisses his eyelids and holds him tight against her chest. "How?" Her voice breaks. "No." Sharon shakes her head not being able to accept it.

"He called me." Andy rubs his face trying to keep himself together, "told me Sara was not doing well," he shakes his head when he can't finish. Sharon wipes his tears. "I couldn't reach you." His voice crumbles completely. "I needed you and I couldn't find you." Sharon closes her eyes, holding him tightly as he cries against her again.

"My phone died, I wasn't in my office. I'm so sorry," She kisses his temple over and over. "I should have been with you, I should have called you." He rest his forehead against her shoulder, letting out a shaky breath. After a few minutes when he's breathing is easier she whispers in his ear. "How's Sara?"

He stays silent, then clears his throat.

"He died of a broken heart." Sharon frowns, things connecting now. How Lou had passed away when he was doing so well. "We were waiting for the morgue, he laid beside her and held her hand crying. I stepped out to give him a minute alone." Andy starts crying again, Sharon closes her eyes not believing what she is hearing. "He drifted away right beside her." Sharon kisses his neck in small pecks, trying to find some way to soothe him.

"Oh Andy, he loved her with everything he had." She says, her voice trembling. "She was his everything."

She can't say the words out loud but she knows he's thinking the same, _he couldn't survive without her._

"He was broken, so broken. I had never seen him so lost." Andy cries, clutching at Sharon to feel grounded, to know it's not only a nightmare.

Sharon tries holding back her own tears, to be strong for Andy. It was painful to see him this way.

"Andy you need to eat something, rest and drink your medication."

He shakes his head, pulling back and letting his head fall back looking up to the sky with a tearful sigh. He expects her to leave and get to solving problems but she doesn't move leaning over him and kissing his chin, her hands holding his waist. Then moving up to his face and caressing him with her fingertips, his eyes close, tears running down his face she rest her nose against his cheek.

She hated to see the face she fell asleep to and woke up to with so much sadness, the one that brightened her day with a famous smirk, so withdrawn. His eyes glazed over in sorrow.

His hands land on her hips, breathing her in. Just having her beside him, had calmed him more than all the hours had. She brought calmness and clarity to him. Smelling her, feeling her, made him know he was still alive.

"I hurt you at the rescue yesterday." Andy's voice is rough when he speaks again. Sharon makes a small shushing noise, it all seemed so trivial now. He runs his hands up her back. "I'm sorry, I was out of line."

"Andy it doesn't matter now."

"It does." He says putting a hand over his face, "you were angry what if something would have happened to you. I would have never forgiven myself." Sharon kisses his cheek as his voice breaks again. "What if I would have lost you, like Lou lost Sara?"

Her insides turn at the words. She can imagine everything he was feeling because it was the same thing she felt t hearing those gunshots during the rescue.

"I'm right here, you're holding me." She kisses his cheek. "And I know you love me." Sharon says softly.

"Yeah?" He asks, voice trembling clutching at the back of her shirt. Sharon nods.

"Of course, my love." She moves his hand away from his face and kisses his lips. "I know and I will never doubt that." He closes his eyes as she kisses his neck over and over. "I know because I love you just as much." She climbs out of his lap wiping her eyes and pulling him by his hand. He stands up shakily, she grabs him by his waist when he loses his balance. "You alright?" He nods, closing his eyes rubbing his forehead. "No, you're not, sit while I call someone." She whispers frightened at having Andy appear so weak. He grips her hand.

"No, just help me to bed." She wraps an arm around his waist and he places one along her neck slowly moving to the bed. She helps him lay back into the bed. His eyes shut immediately sighing of relief. His body tense and tired. Sharon tries standing but he holds her hand.

"Let me get you your medication and food." She rubs his cheek, "I don't want you to get sick."

"You always told me that I couldn't leave without you. That we'd go together." Sharon smiles weakly, looking away from him when her tears run. He pulls her down to his chest. She doesn't fight it and lays beside him.

"I was thinking the same thing." She closes her eyes remembering the first time they talked about it, how morbid it once sounded. "I meant it but it never felt so real." Andy kisses the top of her head, a shattering breath escaping her. "I talked to him yesterday, told him I'd come by today because Sara had something for me." Andy holds her close when her voice breaks. "I'm so sorry Andy, I know how much he meant to you, how much you loved him." She pushes up kissing his temple. "He loved you." Andy nods wiping his own tears. "I need to see my parents and Rusty." She knows that it doesn't truly matter, Andy is her priority but she needs to get up and do anything that will keep her strong, keep her from breaking apart in front of Andy when he needs her. "I'll bring you food. Rest." He watches her push up and walk out of the room. Sharon closes the door and her eyes, resting her back against the door and tilting her head up.

A tearful breath escapes her, she holds her hand to her chest when it feels like it is constricting and a gasp escapes her filled with tears. She tries to take a breath but it makes her break more.

"Lovely?" Sharon startles wiping away her tears looking at her Mom and clearing her throat.

"You're talking to me." Sharon asks looking away and wiping her eyes again.

"You're crying?" Her mother states almost as in confusion.

"Did you sleep well? I thought Ricky was coming for you." Sharon tries ignoring her harshness.

"You're crying?" She questions again.

Sharon wasn't allowed to cry in front of her mother as a child, her Father was a different story like many other things. But her mother always told her to be strong she shouldn't show emotion. _Weakness Sharon, stop your crying. _ Her mother's words ring in her ears, like they had while living with Jack, while raising her children alone, while in FID. She looks at her Mom now and stops herself for clearing her tears, no longer ashamed of them.

"Yes, Mom it's a human trait. I am crying." Sharon walks past her towards the kitchen, when Rusty sees her he looks extremely concerned.

"You're crying." He says worried.

"Sara and Lou." She doesn't have to say anymore before he's already walking up to her and hugging her tightly. She sighs holding him. "Will you call Nicole ask her to bring the boys by later, Andy's going to need a lot of love and I think they're the medicine he needs." Rusty nods, pulling out his phone and sending a text immediately. "I need to make something for Andy to eat."

Sharon looks around the room fingertips to her lips almost as if she had no remembrance of how to cook. Rusty watches her, it was just like her to try and take care of everyone without thinking of herself. He thinks of how it had lead her to get so weak just months ago, he decides it's not the time to bring it up.

"I'll do it." Rusty walks forward and opens the fridge. "You should rest too."

Sharon smiles at him, she can't believe how lucky she was to have him in her life.

"You have classes, go get ready." She kisses his temple holding him close and wrapping her arms around him. "I love you." She says tearfully suddenly feeling like she doesn't use the word enough.

"Me too, Mom." Rusty whispers in return. She lets him go but he hugs her again. "Tell Andy, I love him." Sharon smiles kissing his cheek and cupping his cheeks.

"I will." He smiles. "Go get ready." He kisses her cheek and wipes her tear before he walks to his room.

Sharon starts preparing breakfast, as she hears the familiar footsteps but doesn't turn back.

"Sharon?" Her Mother's shaky voice calls through.

"Lovely?" She turns to see her Dad standing next to her mom. Of course she had informed him of their earlier greetings. She looks away from them and continues to preparing breakfast.

"Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes, I have to go back into the office. Dad is joining me, I don't think you'd be interested Mom but you're welcomed to." When Sharon feels a hand on her back she looks and sees her Dad smiling softly. He wipes her tears a flashback to her hiding in his truck when she was a little girl and her Dad always finding her.

"What can I do?" He asks softly Sharon smiles weakly.

"We lost good friends of ours. A Dad figure to Andy and his wife." Her Dad tilts her chin down kissing her forehead.

"They were important to you too?" Sharon nods, but breaks the contact with him before she breaks apart.

"I need to cook something for Andy, he's already shaking. I can't have him getting sick. His heart..." She struggles to finish, then feels another hand on her back.

"Go shower, I'll have breakfast for you once you're out. Ricky's flight was delayed." She looks at her Mom standing on the other side of her. "Go." Sharon nods moving away, not arguing with her. Serving a cup of juice before walking to the bedroom. She looks at her Mom.

"I'm sorry." Sharon's voice breaks.

"Go on." Her Mom says not looking at her.

"Thank you." Sharon whispers, her Dad winks at her when her Mom doesn't respond. Sharon walks into the bedroom quietly, seeing Andy asleep yet with so much distress on his face makes her want to climb in beside him and hold him until everything on the outside fades or disappears. She sits beside him and reaches for his pills. She rubs his cheek and his eyes open, his usual smile at seeing her doesn't appear, so she smiles softly for him. "Drink this and breakfast will come soon." He takes a sip and the medication. "No all of it." He sees worry flash through her eyes and finishes it for her.

They sit in silence. It's a comfort for him knowing he has her by his side, but a panic for her. Her worry of how Andy would go on without Lou, he was his guidance.

He leans forward kissing her nose, she smiles sadly as they pull apart.


	5. Te Vas Angel Mio

_I knew this was coming. (Deep Breath) I've been thinking about it for a long time...I'm sorry,_** very sorry**_ in advance!_

_Warning: "Not everything is at it seems." _

* * *

Sharon walks over to her dresser and sees Rusty through the mirror, she frowns turning around and watching him move slowly into the bedroom his hands shaking nervously. Her eyes widen as she finishes clasping her watch.

"What is it?" His eyes are red with uncertainty, the panic in his eyes are like Sharon has never seen before. "Rusty!" She whispers desperately moving over to him.

"Andy." The name barely escape his lips.

"What happened?" Sharon says anxiously. She looks around her room and rushes to her phone. He had left to work only an hour ago. She was on her way out. Her hands shakily dial as she looks at Rusty's entire body shake as if he has no control. "Rusty!" She says roughly when Andy doesn't answer.

"Lieu… Lieu… Pro…" He stammers.

"Lieutenant Provenza?" She tries forming the words for him and moves closer to him as he nods. She wants to shake it out of him. "What about him?" She dials Lieutenant Provenza's phone instead seeing as Rusty wasn't going to tell her anything. He goes pale and Sharon takes his hand.

"Cap… Captain." Provenza stammers like Rusty but gathers himself by clearing his throat.

"Louie, Andy?" Is all she is capable of saying.

"Shot." Sharon looks up at Rusty as the words mumble out of him. "Shot." He repeats and lets out a breath and shakes his head.

Her eyes widen, her hand slipping from Rusty's and concentrating on Provenza's words.

"Sharon, uh I'm a block away, just… I'll be there." Provenza says very gently.

"No." Sharon says softly as she can read it in Rusty's eyes. "PUT ANDY ON…" she stumbles back as her voice rises, Rusty reacts catching her as she lands on her bottom. Her phone shattering as it drops to the floor. "Rusty, call Andy." She demands, but he only looks at her hopelessly. "Why won't you call him?" She says frustrated, scrambling on her knees over to her phone and sees the screens gone black, the cracks of the screen going in all directions. She taps it vigorously, pulling her finger back at the sting caused. The red, blood drops hitting the floor. She throws the phone across the room. It shatters against the wall, scattering into pieces as they hit the floor. Rusty jumps back.

"Captain." Rusty looks at the door and sees Provenza rushing through.

"Where is Andy?" Sharon pushes up. "Where is?" She looks over his shoulder.

"Sharon sit, please." Provenza holds her arm directing her to the bed, but she moves away. "He was shot." He lets out. Sharon lets out a shaky breath. "We got a break on the case and…"

"And I need to go to the hospital." She moves past him walking through the hall. Provenza follows her, where Rusty stays motionless staring at the broken pieces of Sharon's phone. "I need to go to the hospital." She chants over and over.

"Sharon!" Provenza voices loudly. She doesn't look back continuing to move to the door. "Captain!" He shouts. She stops her eyes closing.

"The hospital." She repeats now, it's more like a prayer he realizes. He can see that she's praying for the hospital and not the alternative.

He puts a hand on her elbow as he reaches her. Sharon looks at him her eyes begging him to not say the words as he stands in front of her. Her eyes are opened and exposed. She looks up as Tao and Sanchez walk through the door, grief stricken.

"No!" Sharon shakes her head, pushing Provenza away. "No!" Her voice shatters as her hand lands over her lips. Provenza reaches for her but she pushes away. "Don't!" She points a finger at him. "He's in surgery? He… he…" her fingers run through her hair as she paces the living room. There would be a surgery, an extraction of the bullets, he would be under sedation and be would wake up, she repeats those words in her head over and over. "He always wakes up." She says out loud. Her entire body trembling. "Julio?" He immediately walks forward to her. "Take me to him." She pleads her eyes on him.

"Captain." She drops to the couch.

"Please." Her voice is broken as she looks up at him. "I don't care how injured he is, I just need him alive. Okay?" She whispers. "Okay?" Her plead is barley a whisper. She knew Sanchez would never disobey an order from her; that he respected her too much to deny what she asked of him. So when he kneels in front of her and holds her hands tightly. She lets out a sob covering her mouth, shaking her head.

"Captain, he was shot and didn't have his vest." She closes her eyes, Sanchez looks away to gather himself but quickly looks at her sparing all the details for now. "He didn't make it Captain." Sharon lets out a long wail that terrifies all of them.

Provenza looks behind him and sees Rusty sitting knees curled up, pale as he looks straight at the wall in front of him. Tears are streaming down his face but the noise that's coming from the women beside him is painful and in agony.

"He… promise… he…" she cries incoherently. "It's my fault." She cries, Sanchez looks up at Provenza and stands up so Provenza can take his place.

"Sharon…he… went in alone." She shakes her head. "I should have gone in with him." He stands in front of her looking down at her.

"Lou and Mary, he…" She mumbles but they all understand, since Lou's death Andy hadn't been the same. He had kept to himself, he was volunteering himself to be lead on the most dangerous of stakeout's. He had faded and lost touch with everyone, even Sharon. He had stopped going to meetings, spending his time eating junk food and forgetting about the restriction because of his high blood pressure. "It's my…. my…" Her breathing trembles and Provenza jumps away as she pushes the coffee table, screaming and falling to her knees.

She had asked him to see a psychologist but he refused, she had let him go to work thinking it was best for him to keep busy. She had sent him out and he was shot.

This none of them understood. How any of this was her fault?

"Captain?" She doesn't move, but Tao steps closer. Provenza stops him as Sharon's crying continues, they all look at each other hopelessly.

When she speaks again they are all even more worried at the softness.

"No, no. It wasn't him." She decides, they all go pale as she wipes her eyes. "He promised he wouldn't leave me." She straightens herself out, softly pulling on her skirt. She shakes her head her whole body trembling, none of them know what to say or do. "He and I…" She looks at them vulnerably, they have never seen so much trust yet hurt in someone's eyes. She is begging them to tell her it is all a mistake. "He can't leave without having talked to me." She says so delicately it pains all of them. She sees them all look at one another as if she's gone crazy. "I… someone call him." No one moves. "I said to call him!" She shouts her tone strong but it's shaky.

"Sharon, he's gone." Tao holds out a wallet. Sharon looks at him then back down at the wallet her trembling hands reach for it but stop and come back to her lips. She didn't need to open it, she had bought him that wallet with his initials. Yet there could be lots of 'A.F.' in Los Angeles, she hopes silently. He takes her hand and sets the wallet in it, she looks down at it for several minutes before she opens it. Slowly she expose its contents and exhales when she she's his driver's license.

"No." She let's out weakly. The wallet to her chest her hand over her face, "please, no." Tao holds her elbow as she starts to lose her strength at her knees. "Tell me it's not him?" She whispers through her tears.

Tao looks at Provenza as he softly clears his throat looking away.

"I am sorry Captain, we all saw him move in we were to slow to react." Tao says regretfully. Sanchez catches her as her knees give out on her gently moving her to the ground again.

"He… he…I…I…" They all look over at Rusty who is mumbling.

Sharon practically drags herself over to Rusty who is still in the same position. 'I' repeatedly escaping his lips. Her entire body shaking as she kneels beside him. She lifts his chin and he stops but starts crying loudly, leaning into her chest. Pushing her back to the opposing wall.

They cry together. Sharon grips at the back of his shirt as he starts banging on the wall behind her in anger.

The men try to keep themselves together as they watch Sharon and Rusty's world fall apart alongside theirs.

_"Andy!" Provenza shouts as Andy runs into the abandon home. "FLYNN!" Provenza rushes after him but stops. "Your vests!" He shouts at the two officers at the door. "Now!" They remove them quickly and as Provenza pushes the door open, his heart stops. _

_One… two… three… all the officers rush past him he can't move. Seven… eight… nine… and the gunshots end. _

_He doesn't count the next ones, as he hears the words he knew would come after the first gunshots. The vests slip from his hands._

_"Officer down, I repeat officer down." Provenza looks at the ambulances arriving, "officer is seriously injured," then medics running past him._

_"Provenza." He sees Tao's panicked face. "It's Andy." Tao is pushed as the paramedics push by with a lifeless body covered with a white sheet. "He's gone." _

* * *

Please keep with me; remember I love these two too!


	6. Delicate

_This quick update is for all the reviewers and readers who I upset, I hope it helps. __This chapter is **rated M.**_

* * *

Sharon's scream echoes through her room as she gasps for air, her hands clutching at her chest. She feels the wetness of the sheets that cling to her body, her eyes opening as she feels a pat to her cheek. She cries loudly into her hand, staring up at the ceiling. The pain ricocheting from her chest is too hard to bare.

"Lovely?" Her mother's voice makes her cry more.

"Mom." She looks over at the new voice and sees a terrified Rusty. She trembles as she pushes up in bed, her mother pulling back the wet sheets that cling to her body.

"I…I need Andy." Both Rusty and her Mom look at each other, hearing the pain and distraught in her voice. "Please." Sharon begs, her mother cups her cheeks looking at her softly. Trying to get her attention.

"Come, you're sweating through the sheets." Sharon unwillingly stands.

"Andy?" She whispers. Rusty rushes to her side as she slips against the night table collapsing to the floor.

"Russell, you do this." The older woman stops him from reaching his mother and hands him the sheets, he looks at Sharon worriedly and nods. "Lovely, I'm much too old to kneel." She extends her hand, Sharon shakily puts her hand in her mothers. Then stands up. "Let's run you a bath, you're running a bit of a fever." Her mother speaks in such a sweetness it worries Sharon more.

"Andy." Sharon repeats softly over and over as she walks towards the bathroom, guided by her Mom, still in a haze of pain and hurt.

Rusty adds new sheets to the bed and listens to the water run, he steps out tossing the old sheets in the washer. Then returns sitting outside his mother's room.

"In you go." Her mother whispers as she turns off the water to the tub and looks away giving her daughter some privacy.

"Mom," the voice is weak, "please call Andy." The woman looks back at Sharon and she's still standing there, completely dressed. She is trembling from head to toe in her own sweat.

Sharon finally reacts when her mother doesn't walking out of the bathroom and searching for her phone without success. She walks out of the room and sees Rusty. He hands her his knowing exactly what she is searching for, she takes it. It rings and there is no answer. "Rusty take me to…" He pushes up as her entire body shakes and her lip trembles.

"You stood in the rain all day yesterday, you caught a cold." He grabs her hand and worries when he feels that she is warm. "Let's go to the doctor." She shakes her head.

She dials Andy's phone number again and there is no answer.

"A doctor is not necessary, a bath will help her." The women says softly. "It's not too high."

"Don't talk about me as if I'm not here!" Sharon says angrily, startling both of them. She just needs to see Andy.

_Why can't they understand?_

"Mom," the word and the tone used to express himself calms her enough to listen, "take a bath, I'll get some tea and some Advil." Rusty tells her softly. "Please for me?" His words are spoken so softly all she can do is accept the request and nods. She looks at him holding the phone to his chest, he nods needing no explanation.

After a bath, Sharon walks to her bed in her robe, trembling as she climbs in. She holds Rusty's phone firmly in her hand. She sees the tray of tea, water and her fever reducer. She looks up and sees Rusty at the door. He looks extremely worried. For him and only for him she takes the medicine and some water trying to ease him a bit.

Sharon's mother looks up at Rusty as she walks past him and to her bedroom, Rusty looks desperately at Sharon. She dials Andy's phone over and over. She trembles pulling the blanket higher up. She closes her eyes putting the phone aside and praying.

_Prayer, I need prayer._

There was a loss, a void that she couldn't make go away. It pained her to hear Andy's voice say he couldn't reach the phone, she holds her hands to her chest and lets out a long breath.

_It hurts._

"It hurts." She says out loud hoping someone could take her pain away.

"Beautiful?" The hesitant voice she longed to hear echoes in her head. Sharon doesn't look up a long shaky breath escaping her. She feels the dip in the bed and the hands on her shoulders before she opens her eyes.

Her hands blindly land on his cheeks, needing to feel him first. Then she opens her eyes.

"You were dead." She cries softly. Andy looks up at Rusty concerned, as she drops her head into his chest.

"You're warm." Andy says softly.

"She just took a bath and had Advil." Andy looks at Rusty and nods.

"You were dead." She repeats into his chest, crying louder.

"Just a nightmare." He pulls her out to look down at her and kisses her forehead, the warm skin against his lips concern him. Andy holds her close as her arms tighten around him. "Go on and rest." He whispers to Rusty. It was the most he had spoken in several days. He looks up when there is no response and sees Sharon's Mom standing with Rusty. "Both of you." He says gently.

"You're not going to leave her again are you?" The woman says bitterly, eyes piercing into Andy.

"I didn't…" it was no time to argue he shakes his head. "No." The woman walks away with a huff, Rusty closes the door as he leaves. Andy closes his eyes as he feels the painful sobs coming from his wife. He pulls her completely into his lap and holds her for several minutes. Almost as if rocking a child.

After some time when he notices her crying isn't settling. That the pain that she is feeling is too much he whispers into her ear, hoping if she hears his voice enough she'll know it was all a nightmare.

"I'm holding you, you're awake now." He kisses the top of her head. "It's Friday night, we had dinner together." He strokes her arm softly. "I'm right here. This is not the dream, you're awake." He whispers and feels her body ease just a small amount, enough for her crying to ease. "I went for a walk."

His voice sounds like music to her ears, she had only heard hums since the funeral.

"You wouldn't be talking to me." Her voice is broken, he frowns then closes his eyes.

It was true he had been very silent, he had been grieving or at least that was his excuse. He hadn't had anything to say to anyone, he felt like no one understood everything that he was going through. He had lost his father figure, he had lost the man he reached out to when he needed advice, the man that knew his entire life and still loved him. He had people that loved him, but none that understood him quiet like Lou. At first Andy had tried acting like everything was going perfect but going to meetings was painful when he knew Lou wouldn't be there, so he stopped. Talking seemed even harder, work had been his way to release his aggression even if he knew Sharon wished he would mentally get better before he went back into the action of it all.

It seemed thrilling but now as he holds Sharon the thought of him finding danger thrilling frightens him. He had been selfish. He feels guilty of this pain he is causing her. All along she was simply afraid of losing him.

"I'm sorry I've been hurting you." He kisses the top of her head, his words gentle. "But Sharon it's me." He pulls her back exposing her tears that makes him exhale a long breath he brushes back the wet strands of hair. His lips softly land on hers, she whimpers holding him and kissing him just for a second longer.

They hadn't had this connection in days.

Her eyes look into his, her hand on his cheek. There is a deep worry within her, he knows holding her won't resolve. She needs words and actions. She needs time to see him get better, right now she needs him. Before he can say anything she begins to relive the nightmare.

"Provenza, Rusty they all said you were shot and then they… they…said you were dead and…" He pulls her tighter into his arms again.

"Sharon rest back." She clings to him painfully not wanting to let him go.

"Don't leave me." Those three words scorch him, he never expected her to use those three words on him. And yet, in this moment he understands. He hadn't left her physically, but besides his body walking around as a corpse he had left her. He had left her to grieve her own pain, her days had been lonely her attempts at cheering him up only mortified her because he wouldn't react. He'd walk around, eyes glazed over. "Don't leave me." She says for a second time.

"With me, rest back with me." He whispers softly not releasing her assuring her he was going to stay beside her. He lays her down onto her back and rest beside her. He can feel her warm skin through his clothes. His hand softly runs through the wet strands of her hair. His hand lands on her forehead, feeling for fever.

"Your wallet, they gave me your wallet and my phone it..." He reaches into his back pocket as he sees her close her eyes trying to erase the bad images. He hands her his wallet. She looks down at it and opens it. She runs her thumb across his license, then clinging to it. Holding it against her chest. It all had felt so real. She turns on her side and rolls his shirt up into a fistful, resting her forehead against his chin.

"You're phone is broken. You dropped it remember?" His fingers run up and down her arm. She closes her eyes and nods. Earlier today chasing a suspect, she had dropped it and it had shattered to pieces.

He brings her fingers to his lips, where she had cut herself trying to run her finger across the screen. He had idiotically not spoken to her, simply bandaged it. He removes the bandage now, off her pulsing finger and kisses the small cuts. Her eyes are glazed over in tears as she watches him. She had needed these small gentle touches it pained having him again. He releases her hand and kisses her forehead, staying there for a moment before pulling back.

"Andy." She cries covering her face, at feeling his loss only for a second. She couldn't stop reliving the nightmare.

He releases her for a moment longer, removing his jacket and moving on top of her. The warmth of his body over hers eases her suffering a little. He kisses her softly. She runs a hand through his hair and holds him by the back of his neck. His hands travel softly down her waist. His lips on her neck, her body trembling beneath his.

He looks down at her softly, hating that he's causing her all this pain and worry.

"I am right here." He whispers.

His hands caress her waist by moving up and down. She pushes against his chest he lands on his back and looks up at her as she straddles his hips, her lips on his with aggression and urgency.

She needed to feel him, connect with him. There is anger and frustration in her body.

Although she is forceful, he is soft. His hands run up her thighs feeling the goosebumps that rise against her skin. He closes his eyes for a second and breathes in the air around him. He focuses on one smell, Sharon. Her fingers caress his face but not with the gentleness they usually do. Her lips land on his and he marvels in just tasting her.

She is desperate to feel how alive he really is. The kisses are deep, leaving them both breathless. He opens his eyes and his breath hitches when he sees the hunger in her eyes, her hands tangling as she unbuttons his shirt and runs her hands across his chest in a desperate rush.

_No bullets._

When he sees fear strike her face again he runs his hands up her thighs and to her bottom, holding her tight until she looks into his eyes, he rolls her onto her back again.

His lips descend on hers immediately, the sound of their beating hearts thumping through the bedroom. The heat of her body seeping through his hands worries him but he won't stop her. They both need this, they both need to know he's alive. Sharon pushes his shirt off his shoulder without breaking the heated kiss. Her legs wrap around his waist, her hands between them unbuttoning his pants as he unties the robe exposing her skin. His hands land on the softness of her skin, like magnets they attract to her skin. She whimpers pushing up into his touch as his hands land on her breast.

It has been days that he has felt so lost, so incredibly alone. Being this way with Sharon brings a peace, a certainty he feared he had lost in his life. His wife, the woman he loved, she loved him. She would always be a certain.

He feels her struggle with his pants and he lifts up doing it himself. Their eyes stay connected, they both express so much vulnerability. They both express the need for each other. She slowly takes her arms out of the robe, not bothering to remove it from under her. His lips are on hers again. Her legs pull him down; she moans as she rubs up against him and he groans into her ear.

He lifts himself entering her, her back arching as he takes his time. Once he enters her completely he stays still, watching her face transform. The heartache erasing and peace grazing her face. Her hand is flat against his chest driving her hips up against him. He groans pushing up against the mattress with his arms beside her than pulling out of her. Her body shivers below him.

He moves slowly, taking his time, no rush, letting her know that they are both alive. His lips covering every part of her sweetened skin. His tempo quickens when he can feel her body asking for it. The small twitching between her thighs, the way her breathing changes, the way her eyes close.

He groans as she drives her nails into his skin, biting into his shoulder as they both pant heavily. Her back arches and her head falls back as Andy moves faster. Little pants of intangible words escape her lips. They come together, collapsing. Andy's heaviness making her take a long breath, he lifts some of his weight off of her but stays connected. He knows she needs this part to feel him breathing alongside her. She kisses his cheek, his lips softly kiss the sweat dripping along her neck.

He kisses her softly, then rest his nose in her neck.

"You can't do it anymore Andy." His thumbs run against her waist as he feels her voice tremble. "Please tell me you'll get help, try and get better."

There is a long silence but she knows he's searching for his words. He knows that he's only hurting the person he loves most.

"I need your help." He whispers into her ear. They are three words he never uses, that he had learned to drop when he started AA. He was afraid he would take advantage of the person's willingness to help. Fall back into old habits.

Sharon understands how difficult those words are, especially for Andy. She runs her fingers against the skin she scarred.

"I'm here." Her voice is soft. "Always."


	7. Smile

_Forgive me for my absence. I apologize for the scare in my previous chapters. I hope you have all forgiven me. Please let me know what you think and suggestions are always welcomed. To all my reviewers thank you, receiving a message from you always brightens my day. _

* * *

Sharon walks into the murder room and looks at Andy's empty desk. He had taken Lou and Sara's death extremely hard and everything seemed to be at a standstill. Hearing him ask for help had been all she needed to be persistent in getting him to a therapist. She had given the order for him to stay home till further notice. The first thing Sharon had done was schedule a visit to the doctor. After several days without his medication, high stress and unhealthy eating she needed to know what steps they needed to take. Even though the results had been terrifying, his health was back under control.

The team had been supportive asking no questions about his absence. She had been making her days at work as short as possible. Her appearance for breakfast and dinner even if it meant coming and going from work was her a priority. She gave Andy all her attention and it had revived something in him. His eyes were softer when they were alone. She liked the afternoons that were spent together: taking walks, having dinner or cuddling on the couch with a movie. They all ended with Andy having a difficult time sleeping so they would stay up and talk. It would be assumed there was nothing much they could share about each other but they talked for hours. She found staying up and holding each other was something she had missed. It reminded her of the beginning of their relationship, when they were sneaking around, hiding from everyone.

The thought brings a faint smile to her lips.

"Captain?" She looks up from Andy's chair and smiles at Julio.

"I drifted off didn't I?" He shrugs as she takes the folder he is holding out for her. "Thank you." She opens it looking through it.

"Captain we're going out for a drink. Maybe you can join us?" She smiles at him, looking over her glasses with that soft expression he has become used to.

"I have dinner with Andy." She says softly closing the folder. He nods, knowing this had become her routine. Even though they didn't ask her many questions the topic was discussed daily within the group. They all understood Andy's absence but Sharon's withdrawal worried them.

"He's right Captain, just come for a drink?" She looks at Provenza.

"It's not the same without the Lieutenant and you Captain." Amy calls from her desk, Sharon smiles looking at her watch.

"It's early." Tao throws in.

She looks at all of them stopping on Julio.

"A few minutes." Sharon says softly. He smiles taking the folder back.

"We can leave this for tomorrow?" She nods understanding that they are concerned about what has been going on. This is their way of saying they are here to help without overstepping.

Sharon is sitting in a booth at the bar with a glass of lemonade in hand, staring at it.

"Bad idea, forgot you don't drink anymore Sharon." She shakes her head as Provenza slips into the booth.

"It's alright Louie." She says with complete sincerity.

"How long has it been?" He asks curiously, she squints looking off in the distance.

"When Andy proposed I had a sip of champagne." She smiles weakly at him, he waits knowing she has more to say. "I did it for Andy at first than it was for myself. And as much as I want a glass of wine at this very moment," she sighs smiling at him. "And I know I could give it up all over again without a blink of the eye. I would get home, rush to shower and brush my teeth because I'd feel guilty that my husband is going through a tough time and all I could do was find comfort in a drink." She drinks the last of her lemonade. He looks over at the others at the bar then back at her.

"It's okay to give yourself a moment." Provenza says gently.

"Hmm, yes but right now without Andy it just doesn't feel right." She plays with the napkin and looks at him.

"He's going to be fine." He puts a reassuring hand on hers.

"I wish I knew for sure. He asked for help Louie and he doesn't ask for help." She rubs her forehead holding back her tears. "What if I can't help him?" He squeezes her hand.

"There are lots of us, it's not just you." When he catches her eyes he lets out a grumble. "That idiot, he won't let anyone else help him?" She shakes her head. She understood it but had no idea how to explain it. Andy was worried to rely on his old habits, he wanted to do it on his own.

"He asked me because he saw me going insane, otherwise I'd still be on the silent end." She takes a long breath. "Nick has talked to him every day because he calls until he answers, Nicole comes over with the boys when she can. Kate she calls me every day but they've talked only once. Ricky has lunch with him sometimes. And Rusty." Her eyes go red and she shakes her head.

"What about the kid?" Provenza asks worried.

"He's been wonderful, he's planned his studying around our cases so Andy won't be alone with my parents. Andy and him were at odds before but I think he's trying to fix his mistake."

"What happened?" He asks even though Sharon knows he's aware.

"From what I understand, Rusty was so focused on building a relationship with Nicole he ignored everyone, Andy and everyone else. Ricky and Kate told me the same thing just a few days ago. I don't know how I missed it."

"Because you have a team to lead, a boss on you at all times, a husband who requires a lot of attention, children coming and going, grandchildren and parents. You're being pulled in all directions. Plus it's the kid's job to keep up friendships not yours."

She watches as the words weigh heavily on him.

"Hmm, he didn't call you or Buzz either?" She asks concerned.

"Well yes, just yesterday." She shakes her head knowing he's lying. "Sharon, the kid is an adult. He called a couple days ago, telling us Andy was doing better. He was distant for a few weeks." Sharon sighs nodding.

"He was going through something that he didn't trust me with."

Provenza leans forward holding her hand tightly he worried about her more than anyone else. Before he can say anything he is interrupted by the laughter and chatter of the others, Sharon straightens up. Provenza watches her take a drink of the nonexistent lemonade. She forces a smile as Buzz says something in her direction.

Sharon frowns at the laughter ringing as she opens the house door, removing her jacket and slipping on her cardigan. She was not expecting to have a full house.

"Grandma!" She smiles as Jake runs over to her she squats catching him in her arms.

"Hey handsome, what's going on?" He kisses her cheek.

"Your dad invited Nicole and Ricky over since they're leaving tomorrow." Sharon looks up at Andy, smiling expecting him to be in the bedroom away from the others. Sharon kisses Jake's cheek.

"Granddad was dancing around the kitchen." Jake twirls around in circles as he giggles. "Come watch Grandma." He pulls her making her lose her balance, Andy holds her hips to keep her steady. "Sorry." Jake says worriedly, releasing her hand.

Sharon rubs his belly.

"It's okay. Go on, I'll catch up." He runs ahead. Andy helps Sharon stand up, she kisses him softly. He wraps his arms around her when she steps back. "I missed you." He whispers leaning down and capturing her lips, she hums wrapping her arms around his neck. He glances over towards the dining room then looks back at Sharon who is simply looking at him. He loves when she tunes out the world and makes the moment between them. He tugs on her hand and leads her out of the house, Sharon doesn't question him and follows.

When she settles beside him on the porch swing, the entire day and stress leaves her body. She relaxes in his arms tilting her head up as he kisses her. His hand running from her hip down her thigh and pulling her leg over his legs then drifting to her bottom. She rest her hand on his chest as his hand rubs up her back.

"I missed this." She whispers onto his lips. He kisses her again, longer and deeper. Her eyes close moving closer to him, kissing hadn't been absent the past few days but his desire and want had returned. His focus on solely her. "You're feeling better." It isn't a question, it is a statement. He grabs her hand off his chest and intertwines their fingers.

"This morning as my wife woke me up for breakfast before she went to work, I realized I wasn't being very fair." Sharon shakes her head kissing his hand. "She was working to keep this family together. So I spent my day at meetings." The way her eyes light up makes the whole day feel worth it. He knew she had been hoping he'd go to a meeting but he hadn't been able to make it inside. It was hard knowing he'd never see Lou again, that a phone call was impossible.

"You went to a meeting?" Her voice is soft and careful.

"I went to five." He says softly playing with her fingers.

"Five?" She scrunches her nose.

"Not consecutively." He plays with her engagement and wedding ring. "Some of Lou's friends caught me and we had lunch after the second. It was nice to reminisce. Then as we were eating they asked me to run a few meetings." She leans forward and kisses his cheek.

"You hadn't ran one in a long time." He nods. "How was it?"

"It's been a long day. But I'm glad I did, not sure I'd return right away otherwise." She smiles softly at him.

"You feeling better?"

"Much." He rests his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. "Sorry it's taking so long to get better." She places her hand against his cheek.

"Hmm, Love as long as you get better it doesn't matter. Just as long as I see you smile again" He gives her a weak smile kissing her softly. "Can I come to your next meeting?"

"Tomorrow morning." She smiles running her fingers along his face, he closes his eyes when her fingers run over his eyelids.

"I love you Andy, I'm your wife." He opens his eyes pulling her closer. "You grieving is not going to scare your wife away."

"Love you beautiful." He kisses her nose, than her lips. She holds him by the back of his neck.

They get lost in each other forgetting the people inside and the past few days.

"See." They pull apart and look up and see Jake pointing at them tugging on Sharon's mother's hand. "I told you Grandma was here." Andy removes his hand from Sharon's thigh, she looks at him smiling moving her leg off of him and siting up. It felt much like catching Kate and Ricky on the couch making out with their boyfriend and girlfriend. Just now roles are reversed.

"You have guest inside." The woman says sharply.

"Our children and grandchildren." Sharon responds in return. "It's their home, right handsome?" He nods running over to her and Andy. She lifts him into her lap, kissing his neck. Both Andy and Sharon stand up, following the older woman inside. They join the others at the table Ian squeals at seeing Sharon and shares her lap with Jake.

They all listen to the older man talking about Sharon and when she was a girl, laughing, teasing and joking. She looks around the table happy to see them all together this way. Especially Andy participating and not being in the bedroom.

"How about boyfriends?" Sharon looks at Nicole with an amused smile. "Did she have a lot of boyfriends?" She asks Sharon's dad. The boys giggle in her lap she kisses the top of their heads.

"One or two?" The man responds.

"Two!" Sharon's responds scandalized.

"Well yes, Jack." The man answers, "and that other fella." Sharon frowns.

"I only ever dated Jack." She scrunches her face in and amused expression.

"Jason." Her mother mumbles. "His name was Jason." Andy looks at Sharon, his eyes wide.

"Wait he was never my boyfriend." She says quickly, "and I never dated him."

"He wasn't?" Her dad asks. "We met him didn't we?" He looks at his wife confused.

"No Dad, I never dated him." She looks over at Andy knowing how touchy he is about the topic of Jason ever since their trip to Las Vegas. "He's a good friend that's why you met him."

"He's a pompous ass." Rusty snorts on his drink they all look at him then looking at the older woman, whose first smile has appeared on her face seeing Rusty clean up his mess.

"Ellie?" The older man questions her as Ricky lets out a happy chuckle, never hearing his grandmother speak that away.

"I never liked him." She says with a simple shrug. "His wife, Cecile I feel terrible that she has to deal with that horrid man." She takes a drink.

"Mom." Sharon says amused, small chuckles escaping around the table.

"You know Elizabeth I think we found something we agree on." Andy adds with a slimmer of a smile. The woman looks at him. "I wonder what he would say now that we are married." He looks over at Sharon she tilts her head and kisses both boys heads trying to divert Andy's gaze.

"Oh he knows." Andy looks at Ricky. "Uncle Jason and Mom are always talking." Rusty elbows him. "Ouch." He looks at Rusty then sees Andy looking at Sharon with a note of jealousy.

"Uncle Jason?" Andy asks as he looks at Sharon raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry I started something I never meant to." Nicole says wearily noticing the cheeriness of the table has died down. Sharon looks over at her.

"It is fine sweetheart and no I haven't spoken to Jason, but I have with Cecile so I imagine Jason knows." Sharon looks at Andy who isn't looking at her anymore, but staring straight ahead.

"He'll be around soon, trying to stir some mischief." The older woman pushes up from her chair, the table suddenly gone serious. She looks at Andy. "Richard is confused, he was never a boyfriend." Sharon smiles softly at the woman glad she's trying to ease the tension and is no longer giving the silent treatment. "Boys will you help me?" Both of them look up at her surprised and nod following her out of the dining room and into the living room.

Sharon rubs Andy's thigh up and down and looks over at him. He takes her hand and kisses her knuckles, meeting her eyes assuring her he's alright. Rusty, Ricky and Nicole start clearing the table.

"My daughter has never been as in love as she is now." Sharon and Andy smile at the older man. He follows pointing in the direction of the screaming, 'Granddad,' is coming from.

"I think Ellie is handing out gifts." Sharon smiles.

The boys had become attached to the older man. Surprisingly her mother had become fond of them too. Once her father is gone, Sharon stands up immediately sitting in Andy's lap.

"Come on Mom." Ricky calls annoyed. "You can't wait to make up, after we are gone?"

"Leave them." Nicole scolds him tossing a rag at him. "You dry the dishes." Rusty chuckles as they all banter between one another. "Let the parents be in love."

Sharon smiles at them and focuses on Andy, kissing him softly.

"Take a walk with me?" Andy rubs the bottom of her back nodding. She kisses him again and smiles at him before she stands up. "Let me grab another pair of shoes." He nods looking over at their three children who have formed a line to clean up.

Ricky looks over at the sullen Andy.

"Jason will always love mom, but Mom never liked him that way." They all look at Ricky's abruptness. "Even Aunt Cecile knew when she married him. Mom's never lead him on, she's always been honest but he still loves her." Andy shifts in his seat when Ricky sits down again. "He was always great to Kate and I but he never stuck around. He was cooler than Dad nicer but we saw him just as much." Somehow Ricky words ease him. He tilts his head up when he feels Sharon's arms rub his shoulders. "And Mom certainly never smiled the way she does now." Sharon smiles at her son mouthing a 'thank you,' Andy takes Sharon hand from his chest and stands up.

As they are walking by the lake hand in hand Sharon looks over at Andy and how his brow is furrowed. She hopes the conversation tonight doesn't lead him to take steps back in his progress in getting better.

"My Love?" He looks at her and sees worry etched across her face. He sighs pulling her into his arms. "If you don't like the idea of me talking to Jason, I won't." He frowns kissing her nose.

"You know I'd never ask you for something like that." She follows as he guides her taking steps backwards. "He's your friend, I just don't like that he knows you better than I do." Sharon tilts her head.

"He's known me longer but he doesn't know me better." She still sees his hesitance. "Andy he knew me into the past but you know who I am. And above all else you know that I love you and that's never going to change." He rests his forehead against hers and stops moving.

His hands slip into her pocket jeans, the jeans that he loves and somehow have become her favorite.

"How about you take me to bed?" She smiles knowing this is his way of telling her he accepts her reasoning but Jason will always be a sore subject. He turns her around and starts leading her in another direction. As he leaves small kisses all over her face, she smiles.

"I need a shower first," she smiles as his hands continue to move in and out of her back pockets. He captures her lips and pulls her against him, their kiss growing deeper. He stops at the steps. Sharon hums when he pulls back. "Don't stop." She says softly, missing this part of their relationship. The playfulness and heated kisses.

"Steps," he grumbles trying to lift her by her bottom. She giggles.

"We will fall over." She turns climbing up the steps, Andy's hand slips into her back pocket following her. "Mom?" Sharon says softly finding her mother siting on the futon of their patio.

"Twice you've left your guest." She says with a disapproving tone.

"Mom it's there house they come and go all the time." Sharon sighs. "They prefer hanging out alone anyway."

"I'd like to talk to both of you." Her mother dismisses Sharon's words. Andy takes his hand out of Sharon's back pocket and crosses his arms as Sharon sits beside her Mom. "Your Dad and I are not in good shape as we once were. Traveling is hard." Sharon frowns worried. Her mother looks directly at Andy now. "Andrew we hope you can come for Christmas, your children and grandchildren are invited too." Sharon looks at him surprised. He clears his throat uncrossing his arms and standing straight looking nervously at Sharon.

"Thank you."

"Mom what is this about?" Sharon asks hesitantly. Her mother looks down at her hands then back up at Sharon, her eyes tender and open. It makes Sharon sit up.

"I want to be invited to my daughter's wedding." The words are weak. Sharon sighs reaching over and holding her Mom's hand. "I don't want your father excluded because of feelings towards my behavior."

"I promise you're invited to my next wedding." Sharon whispers playfully. Andy clears his throat looking extremely offended. Both woman look at him.

"It better not be to that Jason fella." The woman continues with the banter, Andy's face goes red making the woman smile. "Maybe you can renew your vows." Sharon can see the effort her mother is making to accept this even if it is against her beliefs. Sharon smiles at Andy.

"Only if you plan." Andy adds softly. "Sharon and I will be too busy." Sharon looks at Andy lovingly. How he could make anyone feel comfortable around him, how he could be so positive when her mother had been cruel to him. "Oh and it'll have to be where you live." This brings a smile to the woman's face.

"You're not joking?" She asks him.

"He's not." Sharon looks from Andy to her mother. "Renewing our vows on our anniversary will be nice." The woman smiles. "You've always been great at planning parties."

"What are the conditions?" The woman looks between the two.

"Small." Sharon says quickly, knowing what her mother is capable of.

"And intimate." Andy tries enforcing.

"Just us, just family." Sharon says softly, her mother nods with a smile.

She pulls out a folder and hands it to Sharon. "In case anything happens to Dad and I."

"Mom you had already taken care of that." Sharon opens the folder and reads through it than looks up at her and at Andy then at the folder. "You added Rusty." Sharon's eyes fill of tears. Andy meets Sharon's eyes and smiles. "You added him to your will." She scoots closer to her mother and hugs her, closing her eyes and sighing. It takes a minute for the woman to relax and wrap an arm around her daughter and hold her tight. "Thank you." It had been a long time since she was hugged by her mother this way. "I love you."

"Even when I drop by unexpectedly?" Sharon smiles.

"Even more." The woman smiles kissing Sharon's temple, pulling back and running her hands through her daughter's hair and looking at her softly.

"He's a great boy. Kind, bright, respectful just like his mother." The woman taps the underside of Sharon's chin and kisses her forehead pushing up. "And Andrew, I expect you to take care of all them."

"Yes ma'am." Andy says courteously.

"I am sorry about the loss of your sponsor and his wife," Andy bows his head softly. "Kate she doesn't say much of her father but she talks of you all the time." Andy meets her eyes. "She loves you, she deserves a father. And Ricky he speaks very kindly of you, I expect you to try and get better and give them the priority just like Russell."

"Yes." She gives him a stern look promising that if he didn't she come looking for him. Andy looks at Sharon who is looking at the folder again wiping her tears.

"Oh mother." Sharon says with a faint smile, shaking her head.

"Kate." Andy whispers, Sharon looks up and sees Andy's eyes searching for answers.

"I talk to her every day, she knows you're okay." Sharon says softly standing up putting down the folder.

"I'm doing the same thing Jack did." He says out loud but not directed at her. She reaches him and lays her hands on his chest. "He stopped calling her, he thought about himself. I promised her I'd be available whenever. That I wouldn't leave her alone." He finally looks at Sharon.

Sharon closes her eyes, this moment reminds her why she loves this man so much. All the love he has to share, the way his eyes light up when he thinks of their children.

"Andy she knows you're having a hard time."

"No, it doesn't matter." He searches his pockets and pulls out his phone. Sharon smiles as he raises the phone up to his ear. "Kate, its Andy. Hope your shows are going well." Sharon wraps her arms around him resting her cheek against his chest, his hand rubbing her back. "Just wanted to check in it's been awhile." He kisses the top of Sharon head. "Call me back." She waits for him to end the call before she tilts her head up.

"Thank you. She calls me every day asking about you."

"Like when Jack would disappear." Sharon sighs. "I'm sorry, I disappeared on you."

"The differences between you and him are infinite. You didn't leave. You've been here fighting beside all of us. Holding me every night, hoping to get better despite all your pain. You are struggling because you lost a father not because work, or a woman or the need for a drink. Never compare yourself to Jack." She tugs him by his belt. "What do you say we go color with our grandchildren?" Andy smiles placing a kiss on her lips. A smile creeps on her lips. "My Mom likes you." Andy smiles.

"She's planning us a party." Sharon chuckles.

"Thank you for that."

"Hmm, it makes you happy?" Sharon nods. "That's all that matters. Plus I get a second honeymoon." Sharon grins.

"Ulterior motive. I should have known." She whispers smiling as his hands slip into her back pockets again.

"Kissing you for the first time that night at that diner was the smartest move ever." She hums, kissing him again. She grins as he lifts her by her bottom wrapping her legs around him.


	8. All of Me

_I was asked for more family time and "what was going on with Rusty?"__ I hope this gives both. I can't thank you all enough for all the reviews. _

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Sharon comes home in the morning, sighing as she removes her shoes. Her jacket being removed and replaced by her cardigan. She tilts her head side to side rubbing her neck, stopping when she finds Andy on the couch. She smiles walking over to the sleeping man. Stopping over him, and watching him as his mouth is slightly open. She softly sits beside him and watches him for a few more minutes. He looks so peaceful and serene. Running her fingers along his eyelids and resting her hand against his cheek. She presses a long kiss to his lips. His hand lands on her knee and runs up her thigh.

"Hey." He whispers.

"Why are you sleeping here?" Her voice is gentle and soft.

He rubs his eyes, trying to focus through the light.

"I couldn't sleep without my beautiful wife, who seeks body heat so I was watching movies." She smiles sadly, her fingers brushing his cheek. "You close the case?" She nods, he pats her thigh when he sees its still affecting her. "You want to talk about it."

"Not now, later?" He nods. "I just want to have a moment with you." He rubs his hand up and down her leg. "Sorry I missed dinner yesterday," he can see the guilt in her eyes, she hadn't missed dinner or breakfast in a few weeks and now she had missed both. He can see it hurts that she broke her promise to him. "We can have a late breakfast," she looks at the time, more disappointment reaching her eyes. "Or lunch. I promised I'd be here. I'm so sorry." He takes her hand and kisses her knuckles.

"Sharon, I'm fine. I really am. Early lunch sounds great."

She lets out a long breath. His hand gently stroking her cheek.

"I missed it. Being with you for dinner and breakfast. I missed you." She whispers.

"Oh, of course I did too." He lifts the blanket and she climbs in. A leg in between his, her arm around his stomach and her head on his chest. He rubs her scalp. "I love you and I miss you whenever you're not with me." He says gently, her eyes close at the sound of his heartbeat.

"How was your appointment yesterday?"

"I talked she listened." Andy says quickly.

"My Love?" Sharon questions rubbing his chest needing to hear more.

"It went well, changed our appointments from twice a week to once a week." Sharon looks up at him. "She said she thought I was ready for work." His voice goes soft and she can see the battle in his own mind. "So if you'll have me back." Sharon stays quiet for a few minutes.

He missed the team, the family at work but he didn't miss the rest of it. Spending his time and fighting for the dead, working with criminals. After losing Lou it had made sense to watch the boys while Nicole started substituting again, help Ricky move in to his place, know what was going on in Rusty's world, be available for Kate and Nick when they called. He liked being the person someone came home to, have dinner ready for her and simply being there to hear her problems. He liked being home.

"You don't seem convinced." She pulls him out of his thoughts. "You feel like you need more time?" She rubs his chest continuously.

Sharon knew he had been working in therapy with how to be express himself, be honest and straightforward even when it was hard. He had learned if he needed to be honest and open with anyone it was Sharon. She was the love of his life, she was waiting for him to get better. She was his everything. He takes a long breath.

"I like staying home you know?" Andy's says weakly. Sharon nods a small smile on her face. She did see the difference, he smiled more, was happier and less stressed. She saw genuine joy and happiness in his eyes when he talked about his day. "I miss the team, I miss seeing you all day." He brushes her hair behind her ear. "But I love being home. But I also know Taylor can't be okay with all this time off."

"Let me take care of him." Sharon begins but Andy shakes his head.

Sharon was working and being a wife around the clock, she had started combining the two and it hadn't effected home life or work. Checking up on Andy from the office and leaving to have dinner and breakfast with him never inconvenienced the others. And working on her laptop at home, taking calls didn't bother Andy because he understood her job. She loved him and the only thing she needed was her Andy back.

She had been patient with him, she hadn't pushed him once. He had never seen a moment were she had become annoyed with him. There was always love and understanding in her eyes. He sees that she loves him and that was all that was important to her. She was fighting for both of them and he knew it wasn't fair, he needed to get back.

"No, I've had my time. I'm at your service." He says softly. She looks at him tenderly. Then moves up to meet him face to face.

"Do you know how much I love you?" She whispers. His hand rubs the back of his neck and he smiles.

"I do, because I love you just as much." He responds with a small smile. A quick kiss to his lips before she pulls back and looks into his eyes with a small smile. He captures her lips again. His hand runs from her waist to her hip and pulls her closer by her bottom. She hums.

"I love you." She whispers as she moves on top of him.

"Love you, beautiful." He holds her hair behind her neck, her nose is pressed against his, their breathing heavy. He lets her hair go, it cascades around her face and over her shoulders. He smiles at how beautiful she looks. Kissing her again his hands move across the indent of her back drifting to her bottom.

"Normal Mom and Dad's don't get caught doing this sort of thing." Sharon and Andy pull apart, turning their heads to Rusty stuffing his backpack with books. She turns back and smiles at Andy whose hands slips from her waist. She moves off of him and sits up.

"Morning Honey." Sharon whispers, trying to catch her breath. Andy sits beside her his hand on her back. "I thought your class wasn't till much later." She looks at her watch and frowns. Rusty swings the backpack over his shoulder.

He looks at both of them and shakes his head and shrugs.

"What is it son?" Andy asks softly as he's ready to leave. He had found out what was bothering Rusty and made him promise to tell Sharon or he'd tell her himself.

Rusty looks at Sharon.

"Was hoping you'd have breakfast with me." Sharon looks surprised. "But you just came home and Andy and you." Andy kisses her shoulder rubbing her back, encouraging her to go.

"No, I want to have breakfast with you." She stands up immediately, her voice enthusiastic. It doesn't get missed by either of the two men. "Let me slip some jeans on." She looks at Andy and he winks, smiling at her. Rusty shifts his backpack on his shoulder.

"Can we meet there, I have to go to class after?" Sharon nods. "Our usual diner." Sharon smiles as he leaves.

"I don't know if it's bad or good." She looks at Andy. He reaches from where he is sitting and rubs up and down her leg as she is standing. "I should change." She kisses him. "A bath when I get home?" Andy groans at the thought. He watches her walk to the bedroom happy to see her excited about breakfast with her son.

Sharon meets Rusty at the diner, finding him at their usual booth. She smiles at the cup of coffee already ordered for her.

"Thank you for inviting me." Sharon smiles taking a sip of her coffee.

"I know you're tired." She smiles reaching over the table and taking his hand, she would never be too tired for her children. "Ricky told me he'd have to make dates with you when the FID cases went long." Sharon's eyes soften. "He said your hours are longer now and you're gone more but you always kept your dates." Sharon's eyes become tearful, holding Rusty's hand tighter.

"So you took his example." She whispers.

"Is that okay?" Sharon nods tearfully. She is surprised when food is set in front of them. "You usually order the same thing." He whispers, she smiles at the food. "Well I added the country fried potatoes you steal from my plate." She giggles, looking up at him. He had grown up so much since she first met him, even in the last few weeks.

"Thank you." She sighs at the smell of food. "Looks so good." They both begin to eat in silence. He can see how she had waited to come home and eat. She hums around her second forkful. "I forgot how good this food is."

"I brought your Dad here." Sharon looks up grinning.

"Yeah?" Rusty nods with a smile. "What did he think?" Sharon asks with genuine curiosity.

"He loved it. Then he tried bringing your Mom." Sharon snorts, making Rusty chuckle. "Yeah, he told me it didn't go so well."

"Yes, he knew that and that's why he did it." Sharon giggles. "Oh, he loves torturing her, because she won't be rude and walk out. She'll sit through the whole meal." Rusty smiles. "And she won't complain to the waiters, only to us in hushed tones. Then she'll still end up giving a large tip." Sharon shakes her head smiling. "That woman is crazy and wonderful."

"The waiter does a bad job and she'll tips him the same." Rusty asks smiling.

Sharon nods.

"She was a waiter for many years." Rusty looks at her surprised. "So she knows the difficulty but when she gets those waiters that make it extremely important to give good service, she gives them an extra tip."

"I thought your parents." He mumbles scratching the back of his neck. "I thought they had money." Sharon smile fades and she hums.

"They do. My maternal grandparents they weren't wealthy but my grandfather was killed in a mining accident that left my grandmother with a large sum of money after a group lawsuit. She stored it away never told a soul. My grandmother continued cleaning houses, ironing clothes. My mother worked until she met my father. He is of a wealthy family, very wealthy."

"So your Mom didn't work again?"

"She did, she wouldn't be taken care of. But a year after she was married my grandmother got real ill and my mother watched over her for years. When my grandmother passed away, I was about ten. My Mom inherited all the money my grandmother had invested. It was valued twice as much. My father and his good business sense helped her invest it and now she's doing very well for herself." Rusty looks at her carefully. "She knows what hard work is, they both do. My father inherited his family business but it wasn't given to him, he worked hard for it."

"Why does it make you sad?" She's surprised by his question.

"Hmm, my Mom she wanted a boy to take over the family business. There were complications after an accident that left her unable to have any more children. So they wanted me to take over, but when my father saw that I hated it he let me go. My mother never forgave me." Sharon shrugs a shoulder and smiles weakly. "I suppose it's a reason why she hates what I do so much."

"So you're sad that the family business is ending when you're…?" Rusty asks, Sharon nods.

"It could continue, I'm sure Dad has people trained. It could be sold. He's retired he has people running it. But he is still advising. He's still involved." Rusty nods watching her go quiet as she eats. "I never wanted that life. Country clubs and drivers. I like the life I have." Rusty looks at her worriedly.

I need to tell you something." She looks up at the abruptness and sees his eyes are full of worry.

"Okay." She sets her fork down.

"Sharon, Sharon Beck she's was sending lots of letters." Sharon goes stiff but tries to hide it. "Um, I never opened the letter until I got a call from her and I didn't know it was her and I answered." Rusty looks down at his plate. "I." He looks up at her again.

"You went to see her." Sharon finishes for him. The past few weeks beginning to make sense. She looks around the dinner for something to do while she gathers herself. "You know." Her voice is shaky so she clears her throat before continuing. "You know you don't have to hide that from me. She's your." Sharon stops when she sees Rusty's eyes go red.

"She's not my Mom." He looks away towards the wall so no one can see him, wiping his eyes. She could see she had hurt him. Sharon climbs out of the booth and slips in beside him, her hand rubbing up and down his back when she realizes this was not the way he intended the conversation to go.

"I know, I'm sorry." She kisses his temple. "I'm your Mom, no one will take you away from me. I'm sorry. You are my son there is no question about that." She pulls him to her chest. "Listen, you can't keep these things to yourself. You're an adult but you're still my son, I need to protect you." She rubs his arm up and down. Kissing the top of his head.

"Can we go?" He asks, she sees he's embarrassed with himself for crying.

"How about a walk, we need to talk. Rusty l can't let you go this way." He nods.

They're silent for the beginning of their walk until he clears his throat and slows down.

"I didn't keep it to myself. I wasn't trying to hide it again like the other letters." Sharon looks over at him as they keep walking, he's looking at the ground ahead of himself. "I told Nicole when I got the second one, and she recommended I tell you. That's when Lou and Sara passed away." Sharon closes her eyes and stops, he takes a few steps and looks back at her. Then walks over to her.

"Even if I'm on my death bed, I want to know what's going on in your life. Don't ever think you're not important enough and feel like your interrupting our lives. You are a part of them." She grabs his chin when he's going to look away. He meets her eyes. "Promise me you'll remember that."

"I promise." She lets him go.

"Say it again." He smiles.

"I promise." He smiles and they continue walking.

"So what's going on should I make calls? You need my help." Rusty shakes his head.

"No, I went to Ricky." Sharon hums surprised. "I needed to figure out how to make her stay away. You know legally." He looks at her now and he can see she's in deep thought. "He agreed that we should solve the problem first. I wasn't trying to hide it. I was trying to show you I could be responsible take care of it on my own. Well you know be a grown up and ask for help." She smiles. "Ricky he fixed it so she'll stay away, he said it wasn't really what he did so he got advice from a friend and Josh he did all the paperwork but Ricky was with me all the time. I only saw her once and it was because he said I needed to, to make it legal. Ricky went with me." He shrugs not really understanding the complexities of it. "I didn't want you to worry about it, so I fixed it first. So didn't need to see her again." He whispers.

She puts an arm behind his back as they continue to walk.

"We keep trying to protect each other." She kisses his temple. "You were brave." She whispers.

"I told Andy just the day before yesterday, he made me promise I'd tell you. I was going to tell you both together."

"Its fine, I'm glad you're trusting your family. Is it okay? I mean can I ask Ricky about this, the legal stuff?" He nods.

She guides him to a bench, where they sit side by side.

"You can ask Ricky but I don't want to talk about it anymore, about her." Sharon reaches over and holds his hand. "I thought she was done with hurting..." He can't finish the sentence only looking down at their hands. "I'm sorry I brought her into our lives." He softly pulls his hand away from hers and rubs his hands up and down his pants. She takes it back holding it tightly,

"I am thankful for Sharon Beck." Rusty looks up at her. "She brought me you." Her voice breaks. "Your life was hard and I may sound selfish but I would have never had this wonderful son, inviting me to breakfast and looking out for the family. So I am very thankful for her." Rusty leans over and hugs her.

"I love you." He whispers.

"Oh, so do I." She rubs his back. "So much." She kisses his cheek.

They hold each other tightly for several minutes.

"I need to get to class." He says through a smile. She smiles back standing up and walking with him again.

"Your Mom, she gave me this." Rusty digs through his pocket and a hands a key in front of Sharon, "I thought about it but I don't want it." Sharon takes it flipping it in her hand, frowning.

"I'm confused." She says through a small smile.

"She bought me a car." Sharon's eyes widen. "I know she did it because she was accepting me or whatever but I like the car I have now. I don't know if she can get her money back, I never went to the dealer like she said. You know to pick it up." Sharon slips the key into her pocket.

"I'll take care of it." She looks at him with a weak smile.

"Tell her I'm thankful, I just can't." Sharon rubs his back.

"I'll tell her. My parents like to give gifts." Rusty chuckles.

"Yeah, they helped Ricky with the apartment and got the boys tons of toys and iPad's. Nicole an expensive watch that is still sitting in the box. I think she doesn't want to be rude and give it back. And I got a car. I don't want to be rude either."

"It's okay honey. It's not rude." She sighs. "There is a story to it. When Jack left us, it was with the gift of a lot of debt. I called my Dad, not for money but because I needed someone to talk to. Mom called back the next day and said, we're sending you a check. How much do you want?" Rusty looks over when her voice goes weak. "I refused to take it, it felt humiliating. I've never accepted a gift from them since so they give Kate and Ricky them. There was rules no cars, college tuition, no apartments. I wanted to give my children that, through my own earnings." Sharon shrugs. "It's their choice now. Kate still won't take anything other than gifts in a box. Ricky he's been a little more lenient."

He can see she doesn't agree with the idea.

"Your Dad said he had a few years to make up for." Sharon smiles nodding.

"That's something Dad would say. You could take it Rusty if you wanted, I wouldn't."

"I know, but it just doesn't feel right. I'm your son and Andy's," Sharon smiles softly. Wishing Andy could be present in this very moment. "I've just gotten used to having four siblings, I need to get used to the idea of having your parents too." Sharon eyes soften. "And I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable with expensive gifts."

"Neither am I. They'll understand, we all do." Rusty sighs relaxing. "It's beautiful to hear you call them your siblings and Andy your parent."

"It's nice to have them too." Rusty says nervously as they arrive back to the cars. He looks at her.

"Rusty," her voice shakes a little. "Hmm, you know I love you, just as much as I do Ricky and Kate? I consider you one of my own. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

"Alright go to school, Andy and I will be waiting for you for dinner." He nods. She watches him climb into his car, he rolls down his window. "Monday mornings for breakfast?"

She hums. "I'll schedule it." He smiles driving off.

Sharon arrives to Andy absent from the living room, kitchen and their bedroom. She frowns.

"Andy?"

"Kids room." She finds him setting up a crib, the racecar beds moved around. She smiles leaning against the doorframe. "I'm going back to work and won't have time to do this." He looks up at her. "You still wanted it up right?" She nods. "The boys will be so excited. Having the baby in here." Sharon smiles kneeling than sitting between his legs. He wraps his arms around her, kissing her shoulder.

"Kate and Ricky both slept in that crib." Andy smiles, his lips on her neck. "You think she bought Rusty a crib?" Andy holds her tight. "Because he deserved a crib." Andy grabs a hold of her tighter, when her voice breaks. "He deserves everything. Andy why does she keep hurting our son?" She turns on her side tears running down her cheek. Andy holds her tight.

"Oh," Andy kisses the top of her head.

"He deserved a crib." She cries, Andy sits her up, then stands up. He pulls her up to stand. She curls into his chest and Andy lifts her walking to the bedroom. He lays in bed with her, holding her tight. His hand rubbing up and down her back.

"Sharon he's getting everything he deserves. Since the moment you took him into your home. That woman, she brought him to our lives." Sharon moves closer to him her tears soaking into his shirt. "She hurt him, so we need to show him how amazing it is to have embarrassing, overbearing parents that can't keep their hands off each other." Sharon chuckles through her tears. He pats her bottom. "We will make sure he gets everything he deserves. All he wants is our love Sharon. All he ever wanted was her love."

She closes her eyes.

"Hold me, I just need you to hold me." He pulls the blanket over them both and holds her. She had done lots of holding onto him and this family. It was his turn to hold onto her.

Sharon wakes up to Andy missing in bed. She grumbles.

"Andy?" She calls pulling the pillow over her head.

"Mom?" She looks up and smiles seeing Ricky lying beside her. She pushes up and sits beside him, he hugs her tightly. "I'm not Andy." Sharon giggles. "You pissed at me for not telling you." Sharon hums holding onto him a moment longer, letting out a heavy sigh.

"No, I'm proud of both of you." He looks at her surprised, her hand on his cheek. "He looked for help and you helped him without question."

"He's my brother Mom." Sharon's eyes fill of tears. "You taught Kate and I, that we should be there for each other, Rusty he needed me." Sharon smiles and rests her head on his shoulder.

"What did you give her?"

"Money." Ricky says quietly. Sharon hums. "It was a settlement, nothing illegal."

"I'll give it to you. Just tell me how much it was."

"No, no. It wasn't a lot, probably enough to cover her addiction for a week." Sharon closes her eyes. "I can check on her if you want."

"No, Rusty doesn't want us involved." He kisses the top of her head. "He can't know about the money."

"He won't. She's a mess. Rusty he sat in front of her and was so strong, he said everything he needed to. He didn't lose it. I was on the verge of blowing up and I'd look at him and it reminded me of you." Sharon tilts her head and looks at him. "You know strong, he wasn't going to let her get to him or to me." Ricky kisses her forehead.

"He's so strong sometimes it worries me." Sharon whispers.

"Hmm, reminds me of you." Ricky whispers back.

They look up at the knock on the door and both smile. "Hey Rusty. Come." Sharon pats the bed. He smiles walking over and sitting beside Sharon. "How was class?"

"Math and Writing." He shrugs. "It's alright. Where's Andy?"

"He left when I got here, said he was going to a meeting and would bring dinner." Sharon smiles at Ricky. "I also heard something about Pizza for his wife." Ricky says through a smile, Sharon grins.

"I love that man." Both Rusty and Ricky chuckle. "How about a movie while we wait for him?" She encourages.

"I choose." Ricky jumps out of the bed. "Rusty probably has the same taste as you." Sharon smiles looking at Rusty as he gets out of the bed too.

"None of those bad murder movies." Rusty shouts after Ricky. Sharon giggles following them. She enters the living room and sees them fighting over the remote. She stands back watching them with a smile. She never expected them to ever be this way, fighting over a television remote like Kate and Ricky had done as they'd grown up.

She looks up at Andy coming in with pizza boxes he sets them down smiling at the two adult boys. He walks over to Sharon brushing her hair behind her ears and kissing her tenderly. He stands behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, his chin on her shoulder looking at the boys settling on the couch.

"You feeling better?" He whispers. She closes her eyes as he kisses her shoulder.

"Hmm, listen to them." She whispers, Andy smiles looking over at the boys on the couch who are laughing.

"They sound like brothers." Andy says through a smile, Sharon hums.


End file.
